Have you ever glanced through your Facebook newsfeed and saw an update of your Christian friend saying something like "Sue is in a relationship with Sally" or "Jill is married to Mary" without giving it a second thought? Or if any thought was given, it was just a surface thought like "O, I guess Sue and Sally must be really good friends."

But I saw one of those updates today, and something was different. Blame it on being in Thailand or something, but this time it just didn't sit right with me. I thought about it a little more deeply and realized that something so seemingly harmless is actually a terrible witness to the wider community. Imagine a random stranger stumbling upon a Christian's facebook and without seeing any of the profile information sees that "Jill is married to Mary." Would this not mean at face value that Jill and Mary are lesbians who probably got married in a state that allows homosexual marriage? Then this random stranger looks at the rest of the information and sees that this person likes Christian music, is in some Christian Facebook groups, has posted some favorite Scripture, and lastly, "Religious Views:" says "Christian." In a day and age where homosexuality has in many ways become an accepted norm, Christians who hold that homosexuality is a sin are looked upon as judgmental bigots. It seems to me that there is too much of a disconnect between what Christians believe and how actions play out, at least with this issue.

I was initially tempted to just relegate the entire issue to Facebook relationship statuses, which only pertains to girls, but then I realized that at least in the Korean American church, boys pretty much do the same thing by acting "gay" with each other. And I'm guilty of this too. We have the idea that at some level of comfort, guys can act gay with each other and it displays some kind of camaraderie or brotherhood.

But I think both the Facebook relationship statuses and Korean American males acting gay points to a bigger issue of church in America. Churches in America are so homophobic that there are no real homosexuals within the congregation to make Christians think twice about putting up such a relationship status or acting gay. Christians can safely limit their profiles to only their friends (who are all Christian and heterosexual). Christian males (but I've seen some instances of females too!) can act towards one another in a homosexual manner in the church and it's deemed as funny.

I only bring this up because I'm starting to realize how sinful this duality really is where one hand condemns homosexuality but the other hand treats it as a trivial and funny matter. And the only reason why I realize this is because I'm in Thailand where being homosexual or transsexual or transgender is really, really the norm. Are they not lost people also created in the image of God? Too often they are cast off as the "other" and not even given the chance to come to the saving grace of Christ.

While STEM was here I remember doing stupid "gay" things with my fellow male teammates, and one of the Thai church members who had recently turned away from cross-dressing walked in. I remember being embarrassed, but continuing to do those kinds of things later when no other Thai people were around. I also recently heard that another Thai member was using the phrase "Man, that's gay" to refer to things he thought was stupid. Whether he learned that from me or other STEM members, all I know is that our culture of taking homosexuality so lightly within the church creates situations that formerly homosexual Christians should not have to face. Leaving a homosexual life is not like a switch, it's a daily struggle like any other sin. We Christians do not make it any easier by treating these things so trivially. Enough damage has already been done to hinder homosexuals from wanting to come to the American church as it is.

I'm trying to start a male fellowship here with the few male Christians within the church and all my paradigms of what male fellowship is within the Korean American church have been thrown out the window. I'm literally at an utter loss when I try to think of what we can do or what we can talk about when the group of males are not going to be homogeneously heterosexual. Even my Thai pastor is somewhat at a loss when it comes to how to deal with those who have given up the homosexual lifestyle to follow God.

In the end, I would like to make a final plea to anyone who reads this to consider the implications of things that we take so trivially and never give a second thought. I know that this culture of triviality will have to be put to death in me as well. But it must be put to death. It is a sinful culture that sends the wrong message to the world when we as the church are called to be the salt and light. Please imagine if you would do the same things and laugh about it in front of a formerly homosexual Christian. It just isn't funny anymore. It's not just a joke. Let's act as much as possible in accordance with Christ's example of loving the sinner and not the sin.