Musings from a Lake in Thailand

During the past four days, I had the opportunity and the privilege to tag along with my Thai pastor on a fishing trip somewhere in west central Thailand, along the border of Burma and Thailand. I invited a freshman from Grace Fellowship to come with us because he spoke English pretty well and I wanted to get closer with him. So on Sunday, after church finished, P'Mee (my pastor), View (the freshman), me and three other friends of P'Mee loaded our stuff into a pick-up truck and set off on a supposedly twelve hour journey (it actually took almost fifteen with all the breaks and meals).

View and I sat in the backseat of the truck. It's not one of those comfortable backseats with actual seats and seatbelts, but more like a little bench with a cushion. It was uncomfortable, but seeing that two of P'Mee's friends were going sit in the back of the truck for twelve hours, who was I to complain? At least we had A/C. Then as we started driving and I saw the Burmese day laborers being crammed in the back of trucks, standing exposed to the scorching sun and intermittent rain, I was thankful to God that what I had was probably comparable to a limo ride for Americans.

We arrived around 4:30 AM in the morning on Monday as we made our way to the lakeside. Foolish, American me, I thought there would be some kind of dock or something, but nope just some mud and reeds. I'm not gonna say I'm the cleanliest of folks, and I'm surely not neat (look at my room or my desk), but being a Korean, I like keeping my feet and my clothes clean. I've been on probably over fifty camping trips with Boy Scouts when I was in high-school, so I'm not some newbie when it comes to being in the outdoors. But even during those days, I never sat on the ground or the dirt. I always sat on a nice "cleaner" rock. I'd always take off my shoes before I went into my tent, and I'd never go into my sleeping bag with my dirty outside clothes. (I'm beginning to think maybe I am some kind of clean freak...haha). Bit of a digression, but anyway I had worn my athletic running shoes thinking I could keep my feet clean the entire time I was on this trip. WRONG! Thai people don't wear shoes (unless they're "hi-so" or high society type). They all wear slippers. Everywhere. They play soccer in slippers, they go hiking in slippers...it must be a national footwear. So, I had to just leave my shoes in the truck and put on my slippers that I brought in my bag (Boy Scout motto: Be prepared - in other words, overpack). I actually felt kind of sheepish that I had brought along two bags when everyone else only had one, but whatever, the second backpack was for my bible and my books and snacks so I'm not that high maintenance. So I had to walk through the water to get on the motor boat/canoe that would take us to our boat raft/house.

First lesson about being Thai, don't bother trying to keep your feet clean. That's the reason why there's such a cultural taboo with feet and pointing with your feet or touching things with your feet. Thai people know feet get dirty. (I'm thinking Iris would have a fit - cuz knowing me I'd probably try to put my feet in her blankets after walking around all day barefoot...hahaha. By the way, Iris is leaving to Japan soon, so support her with much love and prayer!)

So I don't remember too much of the first day because I slept pretty much the entire day. I woke up every now and then when someone caught a big fish or something. But man fresh fish for every meal. That is surely one of the highlights of the trip. Oh but after eating, we did the dishes in the lake. The same lake we pooped and peed in. (I forgot to take a picture of the toilet, it's basically a squatty potty that empties into the lake) And halfway through the trip, we ran out of dishwashing soap, so they just rinsed the plates and cups in the lake and let it dry. Often times the cups wouldn't even be washed so ants would crawl all over them. Now in America, when ants get all over my food I think that the food is bad and I throw it away. In Thailand, if ants get all over your food, you just brush it off and eat it. Did I mention the ant infestation on the raft? I got so many ant bites and zero mosquito bites. And the ants were everywhere, but the Thai guys didn't seem to mind. They just sit on top of a pile of ants like it's nothing. And all I can think about is ants crawling up my pants. But what am I to do with my Korean American sensibilities and notions of cleanliness? Paul became like a Jew to the Jews and like a Greek to the Greeks, so I had to be a Thai to the Thais (everyone thinks I look Thai anyway). Yes, I ate out of those dishes and cups and swam and took showers in the lake. I didn't catch any diseases or die. Maybe all the fuss we make about being clean in American or Korean culture is unwarranted. For all I can remember, when I went to the countryside in Korea, they live pretty similarly to Thai people. Maybe the notion of being clean is all in my head. Jesus said being clean is not what you do on the outside but what you do on the inside. (What a great way to take the Bible out of context, I know.)

Four out of five of P'Mee's friends there were not Christian, so I wanted to live out as much Christianity as I could due to my lack of speaking ability. I knew P'Mee would speak and did speak to them at anytime about it. They were such nice people and took care of me, asked me if I needed anything, etc. One time they made a fish dish that was just too spicy and I was dying, so one of the guys made me some eggs to eat instead. I became more and more aware on this trip about my cultural sensibilities that could serve as huge hindering blocks to sharing the gospel. My certain reluctant attitudes - using "unclean" dishes and utensils, or showering in the lake, using the toilet, walking around barefeet - had to die. P'Mee has shared with me before about how Thai people don't like Americans because Americans tend to act like they're better than the Thais. I don't believe this consciously, but isn't that exactly what my actions were showing? "Hey, even though you guys eat out of these dishes and are completely fine, I'm going to be hesitant because my values of cleanliness are better than yours." "I'm going to complain about how uncomfortable the twelve hour ride is - wait you mean it's a fifteen hour ride?! - because in America everyone gets a nice seat and seatbelt and side airbags" "I'm going to try and walk around in my shoes because I think feet being clean is better than feet being dirty." I mean in the end, will it kill you to have dirty feet? Nope. I did the best I could and by no means was I perfectly able to live like the Thais. But think about Jesus coming into the world - the pure, clean, and holy Son of God not counting his equality with God a thing to be grasped, and getting dirty and messy and facing the everyday temptations of man. Did Jesus think he was too good to become man? No, and I couldn't think I was too good to become Thai.

I'm not a fishing fanatic, but I do like being in nature and absorbing the glory of God's creation. So I fished here and there with some small poles and if you check out my facebook album, you'll see the pathetic little fish I caught. But it's okay. Waking up at six in the morning to see the sun rise through the morning mist, listening to the rain pattering onthe raft roof and on the surface of the lake, beholding the sun setting in an orange and red glory over the mountains in the west, it's all worth the trouble. I read two books while I was on the lake - The Bible and the Pleasures of God by John Piper. And now here are my quick reviews:

The Pleasures of God is pretty much John Piper's theology book. And his theology is pretty much God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him. What I love about reading Piper is he's always pushing the reader to look further and beyond the limits of what we know and have experienced. Piper doesn't dwell in the everyday practicalities of being a Christian any longer than he needs to. And for an idealistic person like me, his writing resounds with something in my soul. God is infinitely powerful and glorious and he is our greatest satisfaction. Ask me for a Christian book that will feed your soul and I'll point you to Piper. Using more than just intellectual words and thoughts, he attempts to help your soul savor and experiencing what knowing Christ is. After I finished his section on how prayer glorifies God, I ended up praying for an hour while everyone was sleeping. He's that good at showing how God is good.

As for the Bible, I read through the major and minor prophets, which is something I think I've never done in my life. I've studied New Testament and I love to read it because it's something that makes sense to me. I use history and theology and all that to understand the gospels and the letters and it brings me joy to understand what the writers were talking about in their own context. But I probably don't like the prophets the same reason I don't like Revelations, I just can't understand it! And that's my flaw because I worry too much about understanding a passage rather than letting the passage speak to me. But as I read through the writings of the prophets, I just turned that side of my brain off and tried to appreciate the literary and metaphorical aspects of those books. Here's some things I learned:

1. You almost get depressed by how much God is angry about sin. Almost sick of it. It goes on and on about how Israel was unfaithful and how God will punish unfaithfulness. But it's a great reminder that our God is a holy God. His holiness cannot stand the slightest bit of sin's presence. I think we read so much about the love and grace of God and forget what His love and grace is actually saving us from, which is wrath and indignation towards rebellion and lawlessness. The prophets remind us we fall absolutely short of the glory of God.

2. Amidst this sea of depressing talk of sin and punishment, you'll find islands of promise of salvation. And especially when you know these promises are not just given to Israel, but that they are new covenant promises of Jesus, you're just amazed at how God was able to speak about Jesus hundreds of years before he was even born. (One particular favorite of mine is Ezekiel 34. It's a great one for leaders.) God was relentless in his condemnation of Israel, but He knew without the life-giving, obedience-producing Spirit of the new covenant, man could not work their way to God. So God gives promises of a future relentless love in Christ Jesus as a hope to Israel, and now the church.

3. Reading the prophets really puts "the fear of the LORD" in perspective doesn't it? Without the righteousness we have in Christ, I would not want to come before the glory of God. I mean look at what Isaiah writes in Isaiah 6. "Woe is me!" But knowing the love of God we have through Christ, this fear of God is something to be praised and loved and be in awe of. Piper gives the example of being on the ledge of a cliff by the sea during a thunderstorm and fearing for your life as the fear of God without Christ. But knowing Christ is like being taken into the safety of a cave on that cliff and watching the thunderstorm and still feeling the fear of what it's able to do while feeling the safety and dryness of the cave. What an amazing, fearful God we serve!

4. It's always fun to find passages that New Testament writers quoted, or songwriters use. I underlined those.

So I truly realized how important it is for all of us to just get away from the hustle and bustle of life and work and family and school and ministry and just spend sometime doing nothing - that is doing nothing with God. My soul was refreshed and during my times of reading and praying God gave me so many ideas for ministry and reassurances of what I was doing and why I was here. Sometimes we just need to take a breather and breathe God..haha.

I returned from the trip yesterday with a bruised tailbone and sore gluteous muscles from sitting in the back "seat" of the truck. I really couldn't sit down unless I sat in some weird position. I was literally about to scream by hour ten. I sat on my pillow and I adjusted every five minutes, but I was dying. It didn't help that we had two extra guys return with us. And that already small back "seat" was now occupied by me, View AND P'Mee. That return trip almost ruined the great four days I had at the lake...almost.

Last note of thought: I turned on my computer after returning and checked my google reader to find over 150 unread blogposts. I know I wrote about how great reading blogs were, but I want to make a clarification. The blogging world is tied inextricably with the fast paced world that we live in. You literally have to fight to stay with the flow. I realize I didn't need to real ALL those blogs and I unsubscribed from some. A few. I mean was I really missing out on all that much, compared to reading the Pleasures of God on a lake or reading the Prophets as the sun rises and falls? I don't think so.

Well that was long and fun, I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed my trip.

Writing with a sore tailbone,
Eric