Making Every Moment Count

As mentioned in the previous blog, Grace Fellowship had a going home party for Jinny on December 11, 2009.  The students made a slideshow of her and we went around sharing some memories, feelings and words of appreciation. Then Jinny was able to give her testimony (translated by P'Koy), with the last section of encouragement given in Thai by herself - something she had memorized in the back of the truck on the way to and from Pai.

This is the second going home party I've been to, the first one being for Chungwon, a volunteer from Korea.  And at both parties, sometime during or near the end of the entire going around in a circle and sharing part, I have some kind of mental flash forward imagining my own going home party. (Is that rude of me to wander off into my own thoughts? Or egotistical that it would be a daydream about a party for me? hahaha) But in all seriousness, I don't think about it because I like the idea of a party for me or because I would want people to cry and make me feel special or something, but I think about it because in these moments I realize a culmination of experiences, relationships, feelings and emotions from the entire past year or months is coming together for half an hour of sharing.  How do you put into words the kind of things someone has taught you, the kind of character they displayed, and the kind of memories you shared in a few minutes while still letting them know how important they were to you?

These moments always put some burden on my heart as I think about whether I've been making the same kind of impact or making the relationships in the same way. Again, not because I want to say I've touched someone's heart so much that they cannot help but tear up, but because I realize I have a limited amount of time here and if I'm not diligent and wise about the way I spend my time and make/sustain relationships, an entire year could have gone to waste for me and for people I've gotten to know in Thailand. I think the closest example for people back home could be being a part of doing ministry in eCollege, although you can still see the same people after you go to NEXT.

Sometimes we feel like we can always leave issues or matters, especially in relationships, for later because we don't often have to experience the paradigm changing effects of parting forever.  It's only when you realize that you might never see someone again that you would be willing to swallow your pride or put petty differences aside, especially when it's someone that is deeply cared about. Or we might not take the initiative in making new deep relationships when we think some person will be around for a while.  But the effects of realizing you may never see someone again are truly eye-opening in the way you look at the way you spend your time or maintain relationships.

One of my favorite passages from Acts comes from chapter 20. Paul is about to leave the church in Ephesus not knowing whether he'll ever return and shares some examples from his ministry, some warnings and admonitions.  Afterward, three years of ministry in Ephesus culminates into this powerful and moving scene:

And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. And there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him, being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again. And they accompanied him to the ship. (Acts 20:36-38)

Paul was a man whose pastoral care and love can be seen when he expressed to the church in Corinth that he would "most gladly spend and be spent for [their] souls" (2 Cor. 12:15).  And here in Acts 20 is the result of being spent for his sheep, as all whose lives were changed, impacted and touched by Paul's ministry weeps, embraces and kisses him not knowing whether they would see him again.

If you had to leave your friends, people you were ministering to and even acquaintances tomorrow, what would be their lasting image of you? I guess this is the question that runs through my mind during these going home parties.  Has what I've done here mattered in an ultimate eternal sense? Has anyone's lives been changed or influenced (although not by the virtue of my own goodness, but Christ in me)?  It's a good reminder to make every moment count.