For where your treasure is...

A few days ago I read a blog by Michael Mckinley at 9Marks about a pastor's personal finances here.

His church was doing an annual budget and he decided to submit a detailed account of his monthly spending so that the church could set a reasonable salary. He talks about how he felt weird about having to let the church see everything he spends his money on but he gives these reasons to why he ultimately felt it was a good idea:

"1. I should have nothing to hide. What was I concerned about them seeing? Was I secretly ashamed of the way I handled my family's money?
2. Jesus talked about money a lot. He taught that the way we handle money is a barometer for our spiritual health. I would be a fool not ask godly men to examine that aspect of my life and give me constructive feedback.
3. I am always trying to cultivate a culture of transparency in the church and among its leaders. Transparency can be uncomfortable, but the pastor should take the lead."

Because I'm on this mission trip completely on the financial support of the church, family and friends, I also keep a daily account of ALL my spendings. It gets quite tedious at times - if I stop to give someone some spare change or pay for a parking structure fee, I have get out my little notebook and write it in.
A week ago Pastor Jeff asked me to send in my monthly spending report for August and a chill went down my spine. (As of now, I still haven't turned it in...haha) I panicked as I tried to quickly recap my monthly expenditures: What did I spend my money on? Where did I go over budget? What will Pastor Jeff think of my personal purchases? Will I be rebuked? But I couldn't never show him. It's not my money, not a cent of it. It's the money of the church and of God's people and I do not have liberty to do whatever I like with it.

When I was back in the States, I was never any good with money. Ask my mom or dad. Ask my sister. I've racked up large amounts of credit debt without ever having a stable job. I spend too much money on food. I like to eat well. I like to eat out. But I was never accountable to anyone so my vices never had to face the light of day. I've been woefully unfaithful with offering and tithing, always telling myself I'd be more regular if I had a regular job, but never being faithful with what God had given in the present.

So coming onto the mission field, I told myself that this was one of the main things that I wanted to work on. I want to be a giving Christian. I want to be a responsible steward of all that God has given, which is everything. I want to be a Christian not so concerned with what I need or want, but rather concerned with the needs of others. Jesus says in Luke 12:34, "For where your treasure is, there will be your heart be also." He says follow your money trail and you'll see where your real god lies.

So I followed my very precisely recorded money trail in the month of August and guess where I was lead to? Food. Now, not by too much (which is hard to calculate because food is so cheap here and the dollar is worth a lot), but that's the one budgeting item that I was consistently over on. It's so hard even when the nice food is so cheap and ice cream and soda are like fifty cents each. I know people on Japan missions have to be really tight with their money when eating, but food is just abundant here. But I digress.

Anyway, we hear in church and in the Bible over and over that nothing is ours, that God owns everything, and anything that we do have was given to us by God (1 Co. 4:7 "What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?"). We know God is technically watching everything we do and everything we spend our money on, yet it's so hard to break from the mindset of "This money is mine" or "I've earned it." And indeed, I know the feeling of getting that paycheck and thinking about all the things I could buy or eat rather than how I can serve God or others.

But I guess it's just something about knowing that someone's gonna really see that gets my conscious about how to spend my money wisely and frugally. I ask Pastor Jeff or Missionary Daniel before any large purchases even if I think it's absolutely necessary to make sure that it would be a wise purchase. I don't go straight for the name brands. I look for sales. I don't make any impulse buys if I'm at the mall. I compare and research to make sure I'm getting the cheapest price. And with the small amount of personal money I'm allotted, I still think about whether a purchase is really necessary or just for my own pleasure (not saying we can't ever use money for our own pleasure).

At the end of the day I want to say as Paul did, "I will not be enslaved by anything." When I have my own job and I make my own money, I want to be able to give freely and lavishly to God's kingdom purposes, knowing just how much I was blessed by others giving for me. It's amazing, but people say that pastors and missionaries - people who don't have the most money - are the ones who give the most to kingdom purposes because they know just how valuable that treasure in the field and the pearl of great cost is. So please pray for me that as I continue to live here in Thailand, God will discipline myself in all areas of my life, especially expenditures, and that God would help me see and savor the unsearchable value of his kingdom so that I would store myself treasures there instead of in the present kingdom that is passing away.

And if anyone is seeking to put his or her life more and more under the lordship of Christ, I strongly encourage you to try keeping an account of all your spendings and sharing them with an accountability partner to really see where your heart is.

Until next time,
Eric