I've recently made blog-reading a new hobby and time-killer (or productive time passer - whichever way you'd like to look at it). And no, not the junior high or high school xanga friends list so I can keep track of who likes who, or who did what today (that's what facebook is for these days). I've subscribed to the blogs of some pastors I respect and/or admire (Piper, Mahaney, Harris, Driscoll, Mohler) and some other ones that seemed to be popular in the "blogosphere." Although I centered my selection around evangelical or Reformed blogs, I choose some other ones that were maybe not as serious or had views that were different from mine. I found a list of top Christian blogs and started browsing to see what would be interesting.
What I've found is truth to the age old adage, "The more you know, the more you realize you don't know." Man, these bloggers are so up-to-date in the latest politics, culture, historical research, theology, christian movements, you name it. Reading these blogs humble me and help me realize that I'm a twenty-two year old know-it-all that really doesn't know anything. Yet they've sparked a new interest and thirst for knowledge, one similar to my first introduction to theology as a sophomore in college. With my personality, I know I run the huge risk of shoring up knowledge to feed my pride, but as I've said earlier, the amount of information out there is really humbling.
Anyway some thoughts:
1. It's interesting to see where I lie in terms of my beliefs in the broad spectrum of those who call themselves Christian. I really think it comes down to reading all sorts of different views and seeing which things resound with you even if you may disagree with other things. Now, this maybe a dangerous road like when I advised someone to take an intro class to world religion and it caused more doubt than certainty. There's a reason why the majority of my blogs are from Reformed or evangelical sources. I want to stay rooted or anchored as much as possible while I explore the thoughts of the rest of the world. (I've also read some atheist blogs to see what some of the world thinks of Christians, but I just don't have the energy to keep up with them).
2. But I still advise people to start reading blogs. I know people in this day and age don't like reading full books and what's great about blogs is that you can get a good amount of summarized information to give you a superficial understanding that may or may not spark further indepth studying. We should know what we believe and why we believe it. But I also think its important to know and give a hearing to what other people have to say, because a lot of the time you realize you just don't know it all. I would love to link a Piper blog I read but I can't remember which article, but basically he talked about how Christians cannot face university-level secular challenges to the faith with a second-grade Sunday School education (Jesus loves you and died for you). Get informed! There's an incredible amount of reason to believe in the Christian faith other than "having a child-like faith" (not to downplay that at all).
3. I'm not at all trying to be elitist and say we should only read blogs of people who have Ph.D's and are on lists of Top 50 Christian blogs. I have a good amount of subscriptions to different friends from college and church and it's a daily reminder that God imparts truth to the "wise" and the normal Joe. In fact, I stumbled upon a blog of someone who used to go to Sarang that really got me thinking about what faith actually is. The child-like faith and simple love is an absolute necessity, but is not only component to faith. So read blogs and strengthen your faith!
4. I would say read books, but books are just so old-fashioned right? No, I'm just kidding, please read books.
5. You don't like to read at all you say? Man...I don't know then.
Lastly, I've decided what I want my own blog to be about. I know this is supposed to detail my mission trip in Thailand (and if that's what you're really looking for, give me your e-mail and I'll put you on my e-mail list for ministry and prayer updates). But I really didn't want this blog to be just about things I'm doing. And I think way too much not to try to organize some of my thoughts through blog. Anyone who has talked to me knows I try to bring theology into every facet of life (if I don't say it, I'm at least thinking about it).
If Christians have one solitary purpose in this life, it is (to borrow from the Westminster Catechism) glorify God and enjoy Him forever. (Or to glorify God "by enjoying Him forever" - John Piper). And I want this blog to be just my inadequate attempt to really think about just why "To live is Christ" and how that plays out in the little things. So I'll still give updates on certain things that I'm doing here but I only feel things are blog-worthy if it ties into some bigger picture of life as a Christian.
So once again, if you wanted just a list of things I'm doing or prayer requests, I would love to give you that information through e-mail or that pesky monthly update I need to make. If you came to this blog wanting to see pictures of what I'm doing, check out my facebook. But if you want to follow along as I wrestle with different thoughts and beliefs of what is important and worthy in this life, then by all means, I welcome you. =)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
For where your treasure is...
A few days ago I read a blog by Michael Mckinley at 9Marks about a pastor's personal finances here.
His church was doing an annual budget and he decided to submit a detailed account of his monthly spending so that the church could set a reasonable salary. He talks about how he felt weird about having to let the church see everything he spends his money on but he gives these reasons to why he ultimately felt it was a good idea:
A week ago Pastor Jeff asked me to send in my monthly spending report for August and a chill went down my spine. (As of now, I still haven't turned it in...haha) I panicked as I tried to quickly recap my monthly expenditures: What did I spend my money on? Where did I go over budget? What will Pastor Jeff think of my personal purchases? Will I be rebuked? But I couldn't never show him. It's not my money, not a cent of it. It's the money of the church and of God's people and I do not have liberty to do whatever I like with it.
When I was back in the States, I was never any good with money. Ask my mom or dad. Ask my sister. I've racked up large amounts of credit debt without ever having a stable job. I spend too much money on food. I like to eat well. I like to eat out. But I was never accountable to anyone so my vices never had to face the light of day. I've been woefully unfaithful with offering and tithing, always telling myself I'd be more regular if I had a regular job, but never being faithful with what God had given in the present.
So coming onto the mission field, I told myself that this was one of the main things that I wanted to work on. I want to be a giving Christian. I want to be a responsible steward of all that God has given, which is everything. I want to be a Christian not so concerned with what I need or want, but rather concerned with the needs of others. Jesus says in Luke 12:34, "For where your treasure is, there will be your heart be also." He says follow your money trail and you'll see where your real god lies.
So I followed my very precisely recorded money trail in the month of August and guess where I was lead to? Food. Now, not by too much (which is hard to calculate because food is so cheap here and the dollar is worth a lot), but that's the one budgeting item that I was consistently over on. It's so hard even when the nice food is so cheap and ice cream and soda are like fifty cents each. I know people on Japan missions have to be really tight with their money when eating, but food is just abundant here. But I digress.
Anyway, we hear in church and in the Bible over and over that nothing is ours, that God owns everything, and anything that we do have was given to us by God (1 Co. 4:7 "What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?"). We know God is technically watching everything we do and everything we spend our money on, yet it's so hard to break from the mindset of "This money is mine" or "I've earned it." And indeed, I know the feeling of getting that paycheck and thinking about all the things I could buy or eat rather than how I can serve God or others.
But I guess it's just something about knowing that someone's gonna really see that gets my conscious about how to spend my money wisely and frugally. I ask Pastor Jeff or Missionary Daniel before any large purchases even if I think it's absolutely necessary to make sure that it would be a wise purchase. I don't go straight for the name brands. I look for sales. I don't make any impulse buys if I'm at the mall. I compare and research to make sure I'm getting the cheapest price. And with the small amount of personal money I'm allotted, I still think about whether a purchase is really necessary or just for my own pleasure (not saying we can't ever use money for our own pleasure).
At the end of the day I want to say as Paul did, "I will not be enslaved by anything." When I have my own job and I make my own money, I want to be able to give freely and lavishly to God's kingdom purposes, knowing just how much I was blessed by others giving for me. It's amazing, but people say that pastors and missionaries - people who don't have the most money - are the ones who give the most to kingdom purposes because they know just how valuable that treasure in the field and the pearl of great cost is. So please pray for me that as I continue to live here in Thailand, God will discipline myself in all areas of my life, especially expenditures, and that God would help me see and savor the unsearchable value of his kingdom so that I would store myself treasures there instead of in the present kingdom that is passing away.
And if anyone is seeking to put his or her life more and more under the lordship of Christ, I strongly encourage you to try keeping an account of all your spendings and sharing them with an accountability partner to really see where your heart is.
Until next time,
Eric
His church was doing an annual budget and he decided to submit a detailed account of his monthly spending so that the church could set a reasonable salary. He talks about how he felt weird about having to let the church see everything he spends his money on but he gives these reasons to why he ultimately felt it was a good idea:
"1. I should have nothing to hide. What was I concerned about them seeing? Was I secretly ashamed of the way I handled my family's money?Because I'm on this mission trip completely on the financial support of the church, family and friends, I also keep a daily account of ALL my spendings. It gets quite tedious at times - if I stop to give someone some spare change or pay for a parking structure fee, I have get out my little notebook and write it in.
2. Jesus talked about money a lot. He taught that the way we handle money is a barometer for our spiritual health. I would be a fool not ask godly men to examine that aspect of my life and give me constructive feedback.
3. I am always trying to cultivate a culture of transparency in the church and among its leaders. Transparency can be uncomfortable, but the pastor should take the lead."
A week ago Pastor Jeff asked me to send in my monthly spending report for August and a chill went down my spine. (As of now, I still haven't turned it in...haha) I panicked as I tried to quickly recap my monthly expenditures: What did I spend my money on? Where did I go over budget? What will Pastor Jeff think of my personal purchases? Will I be rebuked? But I couldn't never show him. It's not my money, not a cent of it. It's the money of the church and of God's people and I do not have liberty to do whatever I like with it.
When I was back in the States, I was never any good with money. Ask my mom or dad. Ask my sister. I've racked up large amounts of credit debt without ever having a stable job. I spend too much money on food. I like to eat well. I like to eat out. But I was never accountable to anyone so my vices never had to face the light of day. I've been woefully unfaithful with offering and tithing, always telling myself I'd be more regular if I had a regular job, but never being faithful with what God had given in the present.
So coming onto the mission field, I told myself that this was one of the main things that I wanted to work on. I want to be a giving Christian. I want to be a responsible steward of all that God has given, which is everything. I want to be a Christian not so concerned with what I need or want, but rather concerned with the needs of others. Jesus says in Luke 12:34, "For where your treasure is, there will be your heart be also." He says follow your money trail and you'll see where your real god lies.
So I followed my very precisely recorded money trail in the month of August and guess where I was lead to? Food. Now, not by too much (which is hard to calculate because food is so cheap here and the dollar is worth a lot), but that's the one budgeting item that I was consistently over on. It's so hard even when the nice food is so cheap and ice cream and soda are like fifty cents each. I know people on Japan missions have to be really tight with their money when eating, but food is just abundant here. But I digress.
Anyway, we hear in church and in the Bible over and over that nothing is ours, that God owns everything, and anything that we do have was given to us by God (1 Co. 4:7 "What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?"). We know God is technically watching everything we do and everything we spend our money on, yet it's so hard to break from the mindset of "This money is mine" or "I've earned it." And indeed, I know the feeling of getting that paycheck and thinking about all the things I could buy or eat rather than how I can serve God or others.
But I guess it's just something about knowing that someone's gonna really see that gets my conscious about how to spend my money wisely and frugally. I ask Pastor Jeff or Missionary Daniel before any large purchases even if I think it's absolutely necessary to make sure that it would be a wise purchase. I don't go straight for the name brands. I look for sales. I don't make any impulse buys if I'm at the mall. I compare and research to make sure I'm getting the cheapest price. And with the small amount of personal money I'm allotted, I still think about whether a purchase is really necessary or just for my own pleasure (not saying we can't ever use money for our own pleasure).
At the end of the day I want to say as Paul did, "I will not be enslaved by anything." When I have my own job and I make my own money, I want to be able to give freely and lavishly to God's kingdom purposes, knowing just how much I was blessed by others giving for me. It's amazing, but people say that pastors and missionaries - people who don't have the most money - are the ones who give the most to kingdom purposes because they know just how valuable that treasure in the field and the pearl of great cost is. So please pray for me that as I continue to live here in Thailand, God will discipline myself in all areas of my life, especially expenditures, and that God would help me see and savor the unsearchable value of his kingdom so that I would store myself treasures there instead of in the present kingdom that is passing away.
And if anyone is seeking to put his or her life more and more under the lordship of Christ, I strongly encourage you to try keeping an account of all your spendings and sharing them with an accountability partner to really see where your heart is.
Until next time,
Eric
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Life is Learning
So Jonas (Pastor Jonas?), told me I should blog about what I've learned in the month or so I've been here. But I've decided to depart from my usual blogs where I try to capture the complexities in my mind to something simple. Let's see if I can even do this and still be interesting.
Things I've learned in the past month:
1. 7-11's in Thailand are the best in the world (note I've only been to 7-11's in the US, Japan, and Thailand). Why? Because as Christian Kim so correctly pointed out, the 37 baht (roughly 1 dollar) Chicken Steak Burger is simply delectable.
2. Speaking of food, I brought like two tubs of red pepper paste, one tub of soy bean paste, a jar of black bean paste, and a bunch of boxes of curry and ramen, and it turns out that it's more expensive to cook at home than to just go out and eat. (It's obviously not the same case for Japanese short-term missionaries, so Iris Park pack them dwenjangs!) And the Lord is good because a new Korean restaurant opened up next door (5 minutes walking). Kimchi jjigae for 1 dollar, LA galbi (or something like it) for a buck fifty. And all the kimchi you can eat.
3. However, it turns out my favorite food to eat is Japanese. The fish isn't high quality at all here, and sometimes I wonder if I'll get parasites, but a sushi roll for a dollar?! It's worth the risk. Plus, donkatsu, katsudon, katsu curry, it's all goooooood! =)
3.5 I miss Mexican food, and I miss cheese. I miss Chipotle, guacamole, In-N-Out, and Jack In the Box. So somebody eat those things for me and think about me and pray for me. Ahaha.
4. I've tried to go to coffee shops here and study Thai. However, my study skills have not changed very much since college. To me, if someone says let's go study at a coffee shop, it means that we're just gonna hang out at least 80% of the time we're there and maybe touch our books for 20%. I would always study at the last minute at my apartment by myself. That's the only way I really know how to study.
5. Riding a motorscooter or driving a manual car on the opposite side of the road is really not that hard. Even when driving lane lines are merely "guidelines." (If there are two lanes, you'll see three lanes of vehicles.) Sometimes if you miss a stop, you just turn your bike around and backtrack towards oncoming traffic. It's just the Thai way to do things. And there's not many accidents (at least I haven't see one so far), so why are cops so anal in America?
6. Air conditioning is one of God's greatest gifts to man, but life goes on with out it. Thailand has three seasons and they affectionately call them hot, hotter, and hottest. But as long as I have a fan, I'm fine. I got used to the heat. But take away the fan, and I'm not so sure anymore.
7. I learned how to do laundry regularly after four years of taking it home on the weekends (Thanks Mom!). It's really not that hard, and I don't even bother to separate colors. And no dryers. Only God's heat. I wonder if I'll still do laundry when I get back home.
8. Thai people may be more crazy about Korean music than Korean Americans. Girl's Generation > 2NE1 > Davichi > Wonder Girls > F(x). There's some students here that speak Korean better than English. Why didn't I pay more attention in Korean class? (or Thai class for that matter).
Some more serious ones:
9. Jesus is the Word. The Word is life. One day without time with God in His Word and prayer is killer here. You can literally feel it. That's how strong the spiritual battlefield is here.
10. As much as I feel I was brainwashed by countless VBS's and Sunday schools, I thank God for these things. There's so much you learn about God or the Bible that you just take for granted. But it's a huge encouragement to see recently converted Christians so hungry to learn about what their new life in Christ entails in terms of belief, action, attitude and thought.
11. Yes, I have begun to miss my friends and family a little. So treasure your moments with those around you and make relationships meaningful. Talk about something deep, talk about something wonderful, talk about God. Pray together, study the Word together. I wish I could do those things.
12. Men need to step it up on the mission field as well as Thai churches. I think a good 80% of the Thai church is female, and if I were to count the short-term missionaries here right now that I'm working with, there's me and three girls. In a couple months it's gonna be me and five girls. Is it really as great as it sounds? No. Brothers need brotherly accountability and (to borrow from KCM) FELLAship or MANistry. ahaha, these guys....
13. The purpose of short-term missions is to help long-term missions. The purpose of mid-term missions is to help long-term missions. We need to pray for and support full-time missions as much as possible. Seriously, what can one team do in a month, or one man do in a year without knowing language, culture, etc.?
14. Beyond all this and including all this, I'm having the time of my life here learning about Thai culture (and in reflection, American culture), and God. He's brought me here to love Him more and be a part of His love for all people of the world. God is good!
Things I've learned in the past month:
1. 7-11's in Thailand are the best in the world (note I've only been to 7-11's in the US, Japan, and Thailand). Why? Because as Christian Kim so correctly pointed out, the 37 baht (roughly 1 dollar) Chicken Steak Burger is simply delectable.
2. Speaking of food, I brought like two tubs of red pepper paste, one tub of soy bean paste, a jar of black bean paste, and a bunch of boxes of curry and ramen, and it turns out that it's more expensive to cook at home than to just go out and eat. (It's obviously not the same case for Japanese short-term missionaries, so Iris Park pack them dwenjangs!) And the Lord is good because a new Korean restaurant opened up next door (5 minutes walking). Kimchi jjigae for 1 dollar, LA galbi (or something like it) for a buck fifty. And all the kimchi you can eat.
3. However, it turns out my favorite food to eat is Japanese. The fish isn't high quality at all here, and sometimes I wonder if I'll get parasites, but a sushi roll for a dollar?! It's worth the risk. Plus, donkatsu, katsudon, katsu curry, it's all goooooood! =)
3.5 I miss Mexican food, and I miss cheese. I miss Chipotle, guacamole, In-N-Out, and Jack In the Box. So somebody eat those things for me and think about me and pray for me. Ahaha.
4. I've tried to go to coffee shops here and study Thai. However, my study skills have not changed very much since college. To me, if someone says let's go study at a coffee shop, it means that we're just gonna hang out at least 80% of the time we're there and maybe touch our books for 20%. I would always study at the last minute at my apartment by myself. That's the only way I really know how to study.
5. Riding a motorscooter or driving a manual car on the opposite side of the road is really not that hard. Even when driving lane lines are merely "guidelines." (If there are two lanes, you'll see three lanes of vehicles.) Sometimes if you miss a stop, you just turn your bike around and backtrack towards oncoming traffic. It's just the Thai way to do things. And there's not many accidents (at least I haven't see one so far), so why are cops so anal in America?
6. Air conditioning is one of God's greatest gifts to man, but life goes on with out it. Thailand has three seasons and they affectionately call them hot, hotter, and hottest. But as long as I have a fan, I'm fine. I got used to the heat. But take away the fan, and I'm not so sure anymore.
7. I learned how to do laundry regularly after four years of taking it home on the weekends (Thanks Mom!). It's really not that hard, and I don't even bother to separate colors. And no dryers. Only God's heat. I wonder if I'll still do laundry when I get back home.
8. Thai people may be more crazy about Korean music than Korean Americans. Girl's Generation > 2NE1 > Davichi > Wonder Girls > F(x). There's some students here that speak Korean better than English. Why didn't I pay more attention in Korean class? (or Thai class for that matter).
Some more serious ones:
9. Jesus is the Word. The Word is life. One day without time with God in His Word and prayer is killer here. You can literally feel it. That's how strong the spiritual battlefield is here.
10. As much as I feel I was brainwashed by countless VBS's and Sunday schools, I thank God for these things. There's so much you learn about God or the Bible that you just take for granted. But it's a huge encouragement to see recently converted Christians so hungry to learn about what their new life in Christ entails in terms of belief, action, attitude and thought.
11. Yes, I have begun to miss my friends and family a little. So treasure your moments with those around you and make relationships meaningful. Talk about something deep, talk about something wonderful, talk about God. Pray together, study the Word together. I wish I could do those things.
12. Men need to step it up on the mission field as well as Thai churches. I think a good 80% of the Thai church is female, and if I were to count the short-term missionaries here right now that I'm working with, there's me and three girls. In a couple months it's gonna be me and five girls. Is it really as great as it sounds? No. Brothers need brotherly accountability and (to borrow from KCM) FELLAship or MANistry. ahaha, these guys....
13. The purpose of short-term missions is to help long-term missions. The purpose of mid-term missions is to help long-term missions. We need to pray for and support full-time missions as much as possible. Seriously, what can one team do in a month, or one man do in a year without knowing language, culture, etc.?
14. Beyond all this and including all this, I'm having the time of my life here learning about Thai culture (and in reflection, American culture), and God. He's brought me here to love Him more and be a part of His love for all people of the world. God is good!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Reaching the Limits of the Infinite
Last night, among other things, I got started on what I call my wikipedia journeys (wikijourneys?). For those of you who don't know this word I just made up, a wikijourney is where you have a question about something and so you look it up on wikipedia only to find more interesting and related links of opposing views and so you continue to [Open Link in a New Tab] until you have like 15 wikipedia pages that you have to read. The journey ends when you've come in full circle, having read every opposing angle, top to bottom, left to right about that certain subject (unless you ended up clicking a link to a different subject, the you have some more journeys to finish).
I, being a nerd, tend to go on wikijourneys of theology within Christianity or that of cults. I've never been one to take any kind of teaching without a grain of salt and some doubt, and I always feel that to have a full understanding of any subject, one must at least give the respect to others to hear from their perspective their opinion on certain issues rather than being satisfied with someone else's critique. In this day and age of post-modernism and relativism, this can be a dangerous thing. One can easily get lost within the words of man and good arguments and end up exchanging the absolute truth for the relative.
In what I know about the theology I hold from reading from authors like Grudem, Sproul, and Piper, I feel pretty confident about what I believe about God, Christ, and the gospel as a Reformed Presbyterian Christian, even if I haven't made up my mind on other issues like baptism for infants, church government, etc. But just because their teachings resound a certain chord in my heart and create for me a construct of understanding the infinite that changes my way of thinking and life doesn't mean that they have everything perfectly right. There are other legitimate theologies that do not constitute heresy that bring its adherents close to the living God.
The Lord says in Isaiah 55:9, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." How then can we, as sinful and finite creatures, seek to understand God? Even our ability to understand and comprehend is a gift from God. Only in heaven will we fully know, but not even at once because the finite can never comprehend the infinite in its totality. We will go from eternity to eternity understanding and finding more to know about our God and his attributes. It's not as if time comes to a still and we'll just know everything. (But what I've just explained is in the end still one view, haha).
The trouble I see with approaching ultimate reality or the absolute truth is that we'll always hit a limit. Logic and rationality has its limits. Feelings and experiences have their limits. And most times, if not all, these limits are irreconcilable with one another. Something has always got to give, even if you try to think as balanced as you can. If you want to hold the sovereignty of God higher, you have to budge on the free will of man. If you want to put full weight on the glory of God's love, you slack on the glory of God's justice and holiness. But somehow in God all these things that seem like repelling forces come together and bring even greater glory to him. Trying to fit mercy and justice, sovereignty and free will, and so on and so on in a finite man would cause some kind of explosion no? But within the infinite God, it's all good!
Then in the end, it must not be knowing about God through theology, but knowing God in an intimate and personal relationship. There have been so many points in my life where I've had to put the theology book down and pick up a simple devotional, or even better, go straight to the living Word because even with all the knowledge that was going in my head, nothing was changing in my heart. And I agree with some random author who wrote somewhere, "A person who knows ten times more theology than the average person should have ten times more love, mercy, discipline, joy, goodness, patience, etc than the average person." So many times I come to the end of my wikijourney utterly confused and shaken on what I thought was my firm grasp on who God is. Yet that foundation is not re-solidified by reading more arguments or man-created theology but by coming to the living God, knowing him, and being known by him. And this "know" or "knowing" that the Bible speaks of is not the kind of know I would use after reading someone's facebook profile. It's not a list of facts and data that constitutes the totality of a person's identity. Mark Choe asked me about a certain passage in Genesis 4:1, "Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain." Obviously, Adam knowing Eve's favorite color, fruit of brand-name animal skin clothing was not the reason Cain was conceived. Knowing in this sense is something quite more intimate and within the context of human relationships, it's referring to the most intimate pinnacle of human relationship, namely sex. So to know God and to be known by God is to know and to be known in that intimate manner that goes beyond facts and data, into the realm of experience.
But of course, right belief leads and produces right action and experience and feelings that are not grounded on solid facts and data are in the end fleeting and valueless. I remember at my graduation some guy took the mic and gave a few sentences of congratulations saying that now that we've finished we need to focus on the purpose of life which is happiness. And I sat there thinking, "But happiness in what?" It was foolishness to stop there, as much as that phrase contains truth. People can be happy in themselves, in hurting other people, hurting themselves. Thus the feeling of happiness not grounded in what will make one most happy according to what is most good is one that will eventually wither and fade like grass. So I'm in no way advocating a complete abandonment of things like theology for a completely experiential relationship with God.
We HAVE to know theology. And there are some theologies that are more correct than others. (And then there are some theologies that are just dead wrong.) I read in Piper's blog about the importance of knowing what one believes. (I can't find the link right now) But he basically said that too often people are content with facing the challenges of a high university educated world with a second-graders Sunday school education about God. God loves you and he died for you. Of course that's true! But why does God love you? At what cost does he love you? Why did he have to die for you? What does his death mean for the believer? For the non-believer? Why me? Of course a full understanding of God and his ways is unattainable, but one cannot understand God's "un-understandable-ness" (haha) and his infinite-ness without having tried to understand him to the best of our abilities. Being satisfied with just saying God cannot be understood and living life is just plain foolishness. We will end up living according to our own standards and values and not that of God.
But to those others who may know a little more theology than the average person, how can one dare to ever say he or she has it all down? Even after I go to seminary and study about God for my entire life I know I can never say such a thing. And where am I right now? I'm 22 almost 23, what do I really know? I'm sure any man who has known God for decades longer than I could look at my pitiful thoughts about God and laugh at how wrong I am. And imagine what God thinks. "For the foolishness of God is wiser than men..." says 1 Corinthians 1:25.
A lot of people say I'm knowledgeable and this and that, but I would gladly give up all the knowledge of man just to know and be known by God in the way the Bible talks about. So many times I look around me and see brothers and sisters who may not know as much systematic theology, but know the joys and intimacy of personal prayer, the quiet and gentle rest of devotionals, the God-hunger increasing value of fasting, and the pleasures of the eternal, much much more than I do.
Sometimes, you just have those days where you come to the limits of the infinite and can only be in wonder and awe...
1 Corinthians 8:2-3
If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.
I, being a nerd, tend to go on wikijourneys of theology within Christianity or that of cults. I've never been one to take any kind of teaching without a grain of salt and some doubt, and I always feel that to have a full understanding of any subject, one must at least give the respect to others to hear from their perspective their opinion on certain issues rather than being satisfied with someone else's critique. In this day and age of post-modernism and relativism, this can be a dangerous thing. One can easily get lost within the words of man and good arguments and end up exchanging the absolute truth for the relative.
In what I know about the theology I hold from reading from authors like Grudem, Sproul, and Piper, I feel pretty confident about what I believe about God, Christ, and the gospel as a Reformed Presbyterian Christian, even if I haven't made up my mind on other issues like baptism for infants, church government, etc. But just because their teachings resound a certain chord in my heart and create for me a construct of understanding the infinite that changes my way of thinking and life doesn't mean that they have everything perfectly right. There are other legitimate theologies that do not constitute heresy that bring its adherents close to the living God.
The Lord says in Isaiah 55:9, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." How then can we, as sinful and finite creatures, seek to understand God? Even our ability to understand and comprehend is a gift from God. Only in heaven will we fully know, but not even at once because the finite can never comprehend the infinite in its totality. We will go from eternity to eternity understanding and finding more to know about our God and his attributes. It's not as if time comes to a still and we'll just know everything. (But what I've just explained is in the end still one view, haha).
The trouble I see with approaching ultimate reality or the absolute truth is that we'll always hit a limit. Logic and rationality has its limits. Feelings and experiences have their limits. And most times, if not all, these limits are irreconcilable with one another. Something has always got to give, even if you try to think as balanced as you can. If you want to hold the sovereignty of God higher, you have to budge on the free will of man. If you want to put full weight on the glory of God's love, you slack on the glory of God's justice and holiness. But somehow in God all these things that seem like repelling forces come together and bring even greater glory to him. Trying to fit mercy and justice, sovereignty and free will, and so on and so on in a finite man would cause some kind of explosion no? But within the infinite God, it's all good!
Then in the end, it must not be knowing about God through theology, but knowing God in an intimate and personal relationship. There have been so many points in my life where I've had to put the theology book down and pick up a simple devotional, or even better, go straight to the living Word because even with all the knowledge that was going in my head, nothing was changing in my heart. And I agree with some random author who wrote somewhere, "A person who knows ten times more theology than the average person should have ten times more love, mercy, discipline, joy, goodness, patience, etc than the average person." So many times I come to the end of my wikijourney utterly confused and shaken on what I thought was my firm grasp on who God is. Yet that foundation is not re-solidified by reading more arguments or man-created theology but by coming to the living God, knowing him, and being known by him. And this "know" or "knowing" that the Bible speaks of is not the kind of know I would use after reading someone's facebook profile. It's not a list of facts and data that constitutes the totality of a person's identity. Mark Choe asked me about a certain passage in Genesis 4:1, "Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain." Obviously, Adam knowing Eve's favorite color, fruit of brand-name animal skin clothing was not the reason Cain was conceived. Knowing in this sense is something quite more intimate and within the context of human relationships, it's referring to the most intimate pinnacle of human relationship, namely sex. So to know God and to be known by God is to know and to be known in that intimate manner that goes beyond facts and data, into the realm of experience.
But of course, right belief leads and produces right action and experience and feelings that are not grounded on solid facts and data are in the end fleeting and valueless. I remember at my graduation some guy took the mic and gave a few sentences of congratulations saying that now that we've finished we need to focus on the purpose of life which is happiness. And I sat there thinking, "But happiness in what?" It was foolishness to stop there, as much as that phrase contains truth. People can be happy in themselves, in hurting other people, hurting themselves. Thus the feeling of happiness not grounded in what will make one most happy according to what is most good is one that will eventually wither and fade like grass. So I'm in no way advocating a complete abandonment of things like theology for a completely experiential relationship with God.
We HAVE to know theology. And there are some theologies that are more correct than others. (And then there are some theologies that are just dead wrong.) I read in Piper's blog about the importance of knowing what one believes. (I can't find the link right now) But he basically said that too often people are content with facing the challenges of a high university educated world with a second-graders Sunday school education about God. God loves you and he died for you. Of course that's true! But why does God love you? At what cost does he love you? Why did he have to die for you? What does his death mean for the believer? For the non-believer? Why me? Of course a full understanding of God and his ways is unattainable, but one cannot understand God's "un-understandable-ness" (haha) and his infinite-ness without having tried to understand him to the best of our abilities. Being satisfied with just saying God cannot be understood and living life is just plain foolishness. We will end up living according to our own standards and values and not that of God.
But to those others who may know a little more theology than the average person, how can one dare to ever say he or she has it all down? Even after I go to seminary and study about God for my entire life I know I can never say such a thing. And where am I right now? I'm 22 almost 23, what do I really know? I'm sure any man who has known God for decades longer than I could look at my pitiful thoughts about God and laugh at how wrong I am. And imagine what God thinks. "For the foolishness of God is wiser than men..." says 1 Corinthians 1:25.
A lot of people say I'm knowledgeable and this and that, but I would gladly give up all the knowledge of man just to know and be known by God in the way the Bible talks about. So many times I look around me and see brothers and sisters who may not know as much systematic theology, but know the joys and intimacy of personal prayer, the quiet and gentle rest of devotionals, the God-hunger increasing value of fasting, and the pleasures of the eternal, much much more than I do.
Sometimes, you just have those days where you come to the limits of the infinite and can only be in wonder and awe...
1 Corinthians 8:2-3
If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Rain rain go away
So I guess rainy season is starting because we're starting to get those furious downpours that start without warning. Reminds me of some stories Philip shared of his experiences in Cambodia. But as much as I'd like to praise God for his wonderful creation and bringing down rain on both the righteous and unrighteous in his grace that covers all, it sucks when I'm riding around on a little motorcycle...And I forgot my poncho.
Example: I was helping my friend get a carwash and about ten minutes out into the city it starts pouring. She's following behind me in the dry safety of a car and laughing at me while I'm looking for this carwash place and getting drenched. Then I stop and realize that it's pretty stupid to get a carwash now that it's raining. So we drove back, and I was drenched. I swear it did not look like it was going to rain.
Here's a nice verse I found about rain:
Isaiah 45:8 "Shower, O heavens, from above, and let the clouds rain down righteousness; let the earth open, that salvation and righteousness may bear fruit; let the earth cause them both to sprout; I the Lord have created it."
God sends rain to nourish his creation and how crucial water is to all life! I'm sure farmers would know that no matter how well they planted or pulled weeds or whatever, only the providence of God in life-creating and life-sustaining rain will make crops grow.
So I have some praise report about God's "rain" that is creating fruit in the ministry here. Now after STEM left, I really had 2-3 weeks of very unproductive ministry. I had no idea what God wanted me to do and I was getting so frustrated that I was doing nothing. But just this past week, we got the green light to teach in Chiang Mai University, I guess as official tutors or something. We were expecting about seven people - turns out the head professor of the photography major offered to pay for 50% of the classes we're teaching and we ended up with over twenty students! Also in the private English classes I've been teaching at Grace Fellowship, the attendance has been growing and I'm having to start another class.
Sidenote: Teaching English is a lot harder than I thought. Growing up using English I think we forget how hard of a language it actually is. So if anyone wants to do ministry here in Thailand short term or longer term like me, I highly recommend taking some ESL classes or getting a license - it will open doors of opportunity for you as well as helping the students greatly.
Teaching guitar has also been good. There are a few non-Christians that come out and are interested and since I teach them out of a praise book, they are giving praise to God without knowing it! But let's pray that God would open their hearts to the meaning of the songs they are singing and that the words would pierce their hearts with eternal-life giving impact.
Once again, I wanted to thank you all for encouraging me with notes and emails and especially prayer. I truly believe that God is hearing every prayer and answering. There is great work to be done and being done here in Thailand. I may be here working, and you may be across the sea praying, but it is God that causes growth and bearing of fruit, so all glory to Him!
Example: I was helping my friend get a carwash and about ten minutes out into the city it starts pouring. She's following behind me in the dry safety of a car and laughing at me while I'm looking for this carwash place and getting drenched. Then I stop and realize that it's pretty stupid to get a carwash now that it's raining. So we drove back, and I was drenched. I swear it did not look like it was going to rain.
Here's a nice verse I found about rain:
Isaiah 45:8 "Shower, O heavens, from above, and let the clouds rain down righteousness; let the earth open, that salvation and righteousness may bear fruit; let the earth cause them both to sprout; I the Lord have created it."
God sends rain to nourish his creation and how crucial water is to all life! I'm sure farmers would know that no matter how well they planted or pulled weeds or whatever, only the providence of God in life-creating and life-sustaining rain will make crops grow.
So I have some praise report about God's "rain" that is creating fruit in the ministry here. Now after STEM left, I really had 2-3 weeks of very unproductive ministry. I had no idea what God wanted me to do and I was getting so frustrated that I was doing nothing. But just this past week, we got the green light to teach in Chiang Mai University, I guess as official tutors or something. We were expecting about seven people - turns out the head professor of the photography major offered to pay for 50% of the classes we're teaching and we ended up with over twenty students! Also in the private English classes I've been teaching at Grace Fellowship, the attendance has been growing and I'm having to start another class.
Sidenote: Teaching English is a lot harder than I thought. Growing up using English I think we forget how hard of a language it actually is. So if anyone wants to do ministry here in Thailand short term or longer term like me, I highly recommend taking some ESL classes or getting a license - it will open doors of opportunity for you as well as helping the students greatly.
Teaching guitar has also been good. There are a few non-Christians that come out and are interested and since I teach them out of a praise book, they are giving praise to God without knowing it! But let's pray that God would open their hearts to the meaning of the songs they are singing and that the words would pierce their hearts with eternal-life giving impact.
Once again, I wanted to thank you all for encouraging me with notes and emails and especially prayer. I truly believe that God is hearing every prayer and answering. There is great work to be done and being done here in Thailand. I may be here working, and you may be across the sea praying, but it is God that causes growth and bearing of fruit, so all glory to Him!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
