First of all, now that I'm trying write in a blog semi-consistently, I truly appreciate and admire people like John Piper who can write a new blog like everyday. Granted it's not super long, but it's consistent. I can't imagine trying to consistently put up daily something thought provoking or meaningful. Because my life isn't filled with as many meaningful or thoughtful moments as I'd like. Or maybe I just don't sit and reflect enough. And the last thing I want this blog to turn into is anything like my junior high xanga (Today, I did this...and this...and this...it was fun).
Anyway, the reason why I have not had that much to write about is that I just haven't been doing much. The past week, I hung out with a short-term team from Crossway Church and helped them do ministry. But they left today, and now I'm back to the usual routine. Except, there is no real routine in place yet. In the previous post, I posted a hypothetical schedule that has yet to be fully realized. In the meanwhile, it seems that I'm just waiting.
It's a very depressing waiting, and I guess I understand in a very small sense the reason why old people die quicker if they retire earlier - there's no desire to live a life that lacks purpose. Too morbid? Nah.
I think back in the states the kind of ministry I did was always outlined neatly in terms of what I had to do, what I could not do, what I should do, etc. And so I've been stuck in that mode of waiting for someone to tell me what to do. It's not necessarily because I'm lazy. Back when I used to lead LA Recomm, one of my mottos was "Just because it's been done a certain way, doesn't mean it always has to be that way" or "Just because no one's doing it or it's never been done before, doesn't mean I can't start it." I know how to be proactive when I need to be. I've been a little more cautious on how proactive I wanted to be because I didn't want to come in with my Westernized or Korean-American church culture and ministry syle and start doing things the way I've always done it before. One thing that I learned early in my first month with STEM was that much of what I learned about how to do ministry in America doesn't apply here.
But I still fell into this kind of trap where I told myself I would start going full out once the schedule got going. And as the schedule kept lagging, it gave me an excuse to waste a lot of my time. I believe that the problem was that I saw ministry too much as work. Say I weren't in Thailand right now and instead at some 8 to 5 job. Technically, I'm supposed to work hard between those hours but when I check out of work, I don't need to work anymore. But what about people whose work is ministry? Sure people who do ministry as a living have set schedules with meetings and events and downtime in between, but I've realized that's very much an American or Korean-American ministry lifestyle. And I don't make any judgment on that - I actually want to know that when an event ends I can just go home and have alone time.
When short-term team missions come, the receiving Thai church changes its normal way of doing things to best utilize the short-termers. This means a lot events and structured scheduling, like what we're used to in the states. I've often wondered about what happened once we left and I heard some things before, but now that I'm at the other end, it's kind of shocking. The reality of it all hits you like a brick. Most, if not all of the friends that short-termers made, simply stop coming out to the church. We try hard to get our new friends connected with the church so that when we leave they might stay, but maybe we just don't have enough time, or maybe the culture just doesn't work that way. (And I'm not saying in anyway that short-term missions is bad. I think there are pros and cons, but in the end, if the good didn't outweigh the bad, there wouldn't be teams. And I don't want to elaborate on that because I digress enough as it is. Maybe another day.)
In reality, ministry outside of the jam-packed hustle bustle of short-term missions is quite boring. There's plenty of time to fill, but not necessarily much to do in terms of events. At Grace Fellowship, there are events, but for most of the rest of the time the church is just open to all. People come and do their homework, play games, and hang out. And the more I continue to have a mentality that I don't need to be out there making and building relationships outside the start and finish of an event, the less evangelism becomes a lifestyle and the more evangelism becomes a job or a duty. And after many convoluted thoughts and much digression I arrive at my main point. Haha.
I title this blog "Evangelism - A Lifestyle of Intentional Relationship" because I'm starting to realize more that perhaps I had it all wrong and that I need to embrace a new way of "doing ministry." Especially for me as I'm planning to go into full-time ministry, if I don't shed this work mentality for a lifestyle mentality, I will be a poor and ineffective minister. I think I've written before about how important relationship is in ministry, but I reiterate the point: Authentic ministry is relational ministry. And relationships don't have a stop and start. A husband can't just put his wife on pause to have "single" time. No one clocks in and out of being a parent, or a husband or a friend. It's a commitment you make and time should be flexible around these important people.
Obviously there will be times when I need some time to rest or just be alone, but I admit there were plenty of other times when I could have been downstairs where church members were hanging out and I simply chose not to. Because maintaining relationships is tiring as it is. But when you seek to have intentional relationships whether it be from Christian to non-Christian, peer to peer, mentor to mentee, it's downright draining. At least for me it is. Yet that's the cost of evangelism, especially in Thailand, and I'm pretty sure it still applies in America. I think it's more than just a contextual or cultural truth. How am I supposed to share the truth with someone I'm not talking to? And why will the truth matter to someone whom I have not built trust and credibility with? I think about Jesus spending three years with just twelve thick-headed, ordinary men and turning them into passionate disciples. It did not happen in a brief stroke or an emotional event. It was a slow, strenuous, time-consuming, energy-exerting change (think about Peter and his bold declarations and failures, and ultimately what he becomes). Jesus put up with all those failures, and continued to pray for them. The Great Shepherd knew the real cost of discipleship (and discipling).
Truly a lesson in progress. I wasted enough time as it is in college for myself and doing literally nothing in my room. I refuse to waste another year, especially here in Thailand with people supporting me and praying for me. I ask for you, reader, to pray for me as I seek to learn how to live a lifestyle of evangelism rather than doing the duty or work of evangelism. And I pray that my dear friends at home would learn the same lesson with me as we faithfully fulfill what Jesus has commanded each and everyone of us - Go and make disciples of all nations.
Seeking to live rather than work,
Eric
Monday, August 24, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Some Housekeeping, Practicalities, and Prayer Requests
Most importantly, here's my address if you'd like to send a card, or a care package. (I like Sour Patch).
Eric Choi
P.O. Box 81
Chiang Mai University 50202
Chiang Mai, Thailand
**edit** (it's a joke, i'll be fine without sour patch xP)
I finally have my ministry schedule somewhat set and I will be preparing this week to start ministry next week. So here we go:
Sunday - Worship, praise team (they're making me play piano?!?), and participate in Bible study (this is hard because I can't understand Thai yet)
Monday - Sabbath (praise God!), and I'm taking an New Testament Survey class at Chiang Mai Theological Seminary. I may teach guitar, if I'm not tired.
Tuesday - Teaching English to non-believers, Learning Thai at Chiang Mai University
Wednesday - Teaching guitar, helping out at Korean night
Thursday - Maybe teaching at an elementary school, Learning Thai at CMU
Friday - Teaching English to church members, Helping out and sometimes leading Friday Outreach Night (for non-believers).
Saturday - Teaching SAT to Missionary Daniel's kids, Helping train a praise team
So there's my schedule. On top of this, an opportunity has come up where me and P'Mee (my pastor) may be able to be "English professors" AT Chiang Mai University. A man literally walked through the door because he was interested in enrolling his daughter in my english class, and said he knew a lot of professors at CMU and his daughter's major needed a native English teacher. But it's just in the air right now, nothing final.
Prayer Requests:
- Pray for my preparation, especially for english classes and leading Korean and Friday Nights. I'm trying to decide how much "Bible" to put in the english class or if I want to keep it more relational and invite them out to a different night for gospel purposes. I'll be giving a little "message" kind of thing next Friday, and I need a corresponding activity to hammer in whatever I want to talk about. Lastly, I'm terribly uncreative when it comes to leading games, I really need a miracle of God to do that right.
- Pray for the aforementioned opportunity to teach English on campus. It would be a great way to meet new students. Furthermore, Grace Fellowship has a long-term plan to start some kind of a coffee shop, cafe, hangout spot on campus and is looking for connections with professors on campus to do so.
- Pray for my Thai language acquisition. Thai is such a hard language! I'm improving, but I really would like to communicate with Thai people on a deeper level.
- Pray for the new non-Christian students that I will be meeting, that as I interact with them I would be able to share God's love through actions where my words lack.
- Lastly, pray for my own spiritual development and discipline. I've realized just one day without prayer and QT makes an incredible difference. It shows me how strong the spiritual warfare is here.
Well to all readers, supporters, prayer-ers, thank you for everything. I've really been encouraged to know there are many people praying for me home-side.
Lastly, if you are a financial supporter, please send support soon! Contact Emily Choi or Tina Oh.
Eric Choi
P.O. Box 81
Chiang Mai University 50202
Chiang Mai, Thailand
**edit** (it's a joke, i'll be fine without sour patch xP)
I finally have my ministry schedule somewhat set and I will be preparing this week to start ministry next week. So here we go:
Sunday - Worship, praise team (they're making me play piano?!?), and participate in Bible study (this is hard because I can't understand Thai yet)
Monday - Sabbath (praise God!), and I'm taking an New Testament Survey class at Chiang Mai Theological Seminary. I may teach guitar, if I'm not tired.
Tuesday - Teaching English to non-believers, Learning Thai at Chiang Mai University
Wednesday - Teaching guitar, helping out at Korean night
Thursday - Maybe teaching at an elementary school, Learning Thai at CMU
Friday - Teaching English to church members, Helping out and sometimes leading Friday Outreach Night (for non-believers).
Saturday - Teaching SAT to Missionary Daniel's kids, Helping train a praise team
So there's my schedule. On top of this, an opportunity has come up where me and P'Mee (my pastor) may be able to be "English professors" AT Chiang Mai University. A man literally walked through the door because he was interested in enrolling his daughter in my english class, and said he knew a lot of professors at CMU and his daughter's major needed a native English teacher. But it's just in the air right now, nothing final.
Prayer Requests:
- Pray for my preparation, especially for english classes and leading Korean and Friday Nights. I'm trying to decide how much "Bible" to put in the english class or if I want to keep it more relational and invite them out to a different night for gospel purposes. I'll be giving a little "message" kind of thing next Friday, and I need a corresponding activity to hammer in whatever I want to talk about. Lastly, I'm terribly uncreative when it comes to leading games, I really need a miracle of God to do that right.
- Pray for the aforementioned opportunity to teach English on campus. It would be a great way to meet new students. Furthermore, Grace Fellowship has a long-term plan to start some kind of a coffee shop, cafe, hangout spot on campus and is looking for connections with professors on campus to do so.
- Pray for my Thai language acquisition. Thai is such a hard language! I'm improving, but I really would like to communicate with Thai people on a deeper level.
- Pray for the new non-Christian students that I will be meeting, that as I interact with them I would be able to share God's love through actions where my words lack.
- Lastly, pray for my own spiritual development and discipline. I've realized just one day without prayer and QT makes an incredible difference. It shows me how strong the spiritual warfare is here.
Well to all readers, supporters, prayer-ers, thank you for everything. I've really been encouraged to know there are many people praying for me home-side.
Lastly, if you are a financial supporter, please send support soon! Contact Emily Choi or Tina Oh.
STEM testimony 2009
I know I haven't blogged for a while, and I've probably avoided trying to process or be introspective on how I feel after STEM has left, but I had to write a STEM testimony which got me to think of different things, and which I am now sharing with you (what a long run-on sentence.)
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As I write what will probably be the last STEM testimony of my life, I am reminded not just of what God has shown me and taught me this past summer, but also over the course of the past five STEM mission trips. During the span of four years, God has shaped my heart and passion for missions and at the same time has molded me, stretched me and broken me in ways that the high-school graduate Eric of 2005 would never have expected. It’s almost surreal that God has brought me to serve Him in Thailand for this upcoming year. But as I try to make sense of why God has brought me here and what he wants to teach me, I realize that I must frame this testimony around the how God has lead me thus far, not just in this past month.
In my senior year of college, I came face-to-face with the reality of life after undergraduate schooling. I was at a crossroad with three options: work for a year, enter straight into seminary, or go to missions for a year. The last option was a commitment I made to God two years prior, but it was the last thought on my mind as I began to feel like it would just be a detour in my “ambitious” plans for life. I thought, “How does a year in a country whose language I cannot speak and culture I cannot understand help me in the future?” But here’s the kicker, I was too concerned with how missions would “help me” rather than how I would serve God with the entirety of my life. I wanted God to sign off on my plans and ambitions rather than trusting and yielding to the one who graciously promises that He has a plan for me – plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jer. 29:11).
In the fall of 2008, E-College ministry had its first corporate Daniel Fast leading up to the Break Free revival. I decided to call upon the Lord and pray about the upcoming decision. For twenty one days I fasted and sought the Lord, but with no answer. The day before the revival, I was at Pastor Jeff’s house and we randomly decided to pray. As I prayed about my future, I realized I had not yet put to death my will, desires, wants, and needs. These things were ruling and dictating my life and God spoke to me at that moment, “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” The next day at the revival, Reverend Bob Oh began the sermon with that exact verse from Philippians 1:21. I knew God was about to give His answer; this was no coincidence. Then Reverend Oh spoke the following words which pierced my heart like a dagger: “If God has called you to a nation, take that nation for Him.” At that moment, my eyes began to tear as God reminded me about my calling to Thailand. He did not just want to remind me, but wanted to bestow power and authority on me to be his witness and to take the nation.
Thus God called me to missions not to help me, but to glorify Him. Yet the loving Father knew my fears and my insecurities and was not ordering me to go without some assurance of His faithfulness. As I continued to pray, He urged me to let go of all the things that I was holding onto – friends, family, church, and comfort – even if they were good things. I first needed to die to these things so that I could see their true worth through the cross. And God spoke to me, “Let these things go and I will return them to you even more beautiful and precious than they once were to you.” And so God gave me Philippians 1:21 as the theme verse for my year in Thailand. It wasn’t until I put my self to death that I could see living for Christ as the most valuable and worthy treasure.
In light of this, God lead me as I lead Thailand Team 2009. Leading a team is no easy task, but this time I knew that I would not be returning home with the teammates that I would become so close with after eating, talking and sharing experiences for a month. Even in the beginning of the month, I was hesitant to reach out to my teammates as I tried to prepare myself for their eventual departure. But my teammates relentlessly pursued me and would not let me take matters into my own hands like that. They taught me that I’m not really letting go of something until I value it, and as I came to understand the great value of my relationships with them, I came to appreciate and love even more the great value of Christ who is more than worthy enough to give up all things and follow. And now as my teammates encourage me by praying for me back at home, I can value even more the Holy Spirit who is interceding for me and helping me in my weakness (Romans 8:25) and the Lord Jesus Christ who daily mediates on my behalf with his blood (Hebrews 9).
I still don’t fully understand why God would use a prideful, selfish, and wretched creature like me. Yet God reminds me that I am but a jar of clay to show that His all-surpassing power is from God and not from me. The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:11, “For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.” As I look forward to what God wants to do in me and through me this upcoming year, I know God will continue to show me that the dying of my self for Jesus’ sake is truly gain, and that living is truly Christ – it is His life, light and glory that will shine in my heart.
----------------------------------
As I write what will probably be the last STEM testimony of my life, I am reminded not just of what God has shown me and taught me this past summer, but also over the course of the past five STEM mission trips. During the span of four years, God has shaped my heart and passion for missions and at the same time has molded me, stretched me and broken me in ways that the high-school graduate Eric of 2005 would never have expected. It’s almost surreal that God has brought me to serve Him in Thailand for this upcoming year. But as I try to make sense of why God has brought me here and what he wants to teach me, I realize that I must frame this testimony around the how God has lead me thus far, not just in this past month.
In my senior year of college, I came face-to-face with the reality of life after undergraduate schooling. I was at a crossroad with three options: work for a year, enter straight into seminary, or go to missions for a year. The last option was a commitment I made to God two years prior, but it was the last thought on my mind as I began to feel like it would just be a detour in my “ambitious” plans for life. I thought, “How does a year in a country whose language I cannot speak and culture I cannot understand help me in the future?” But here’s the kicker, I was too concerned with how missions would “help me” rather than how I would serve God with the entirety of my life. I wanted God to sign off on my plans and ambitions rather than trusting and yielding to the one who graciously promises that He has a plan for me – plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jer. 29:11).
In the fall of 2008, E-College ministry had its first corporate Daniel Fast leading up to the Break Free revival. I decided to call upon the Lord and pray about the upcoming decision. For twenty one days I fasted and sought the Lord, but with no answer. The day before the revival, I was at Pastor Jeff’s house and we randomly decided to pray. As I prayed about my future, I realized I had not yet put to death my will, desires, wants, and needs. These things were ruling and dictating my life and God spoke to me at that moment, “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” The next day at the revival, Reverend Bob Oh began the sermon with that exact verse from Philippians 1:21. I knew God was about to give His answer; this was no coincidence. Then Reverend Oh spoke the following words which pierced my heart like a dagger: “If God has called you to a nation, take that nation for Him.” At that moment, my eyes began to tear as God reminded me about my calling to Thailand. He did not just want to remind me, but wanted to bestow power and authority on me to be his witness and to take the nation.
Thus God called me to missions not to help me, but to glorify Him. Yet the loving Father knew my fears and my insecurities and was not ordering me to go without some assurance of His faithfulness. As I continued to pray, He urged me to let go of all the things that I was holding onto – friends, family, church, and comfort – even if they were good things. I first needed to die to these things so that I could see their true worth through the cross. And God spoke to me, “Let these things go and I will return them to you even more beautiful and precious than they once were to you.” And so God gave me Philippians 1:21 as the theme verse for my year in Thailand. It wasn’t until I put my self to death that I could see living for Christ as the most valuable and worthy treasure.
In light of this, God lead me as I lead Thailand Team 2009. Leading a team is no easy task, but this time I knew that I would not be returning home with the teammates that I would become so close with after eating, talking and sharing experiences for a month. Even in the beginning of the month, I was hesitant to reach out to my teammates as I tried to prepare myself for their eventual departure. But my teammates relentlessly pursued me and would not let me take matters into my own hands like that. They taught me that I’m not really letting go of something until I value it, and as I came to understand the great value of my relationships with them, I came to appreciate and love even more the great value of Christ who is more than worthy enough to give up all things and follow. And now as my teammates encourage me by praying for me back at home, I can value even more the Holy Spirit who is interceding for me and helping me in my weakness (Romans 8:25) and the Lord Jesus Christ who daily mediates on my behalf with his blood (Hebrews 9).
I still don’t fully understand why God would use a prideful, selfish, and wretched creature like me. Yet God reminds me that I am but a jar of clay to show that His all-surpassing power is from God and not from me. The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:11, “For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.” As I look forward to what God wants to do in me and through me this upcoming year, I know God will continue to show me that the dying of my self for Jesus’ sake is truly gain, and that living is truly Christ – it is His life, light and glory that will shine in my heart.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So if you think you are standing firm...
This blog has really nothing to do with my mission trip, but I came across an article so interesting that I wanted to write about it.
Here's the article link.
The article itself is not that long, and I suggest you just read it first, but if you're that lazy here's the main point:
Think back to anything you are struggling with or have struggled with in the past. For males, we obviously think of our everyday battle with lust. We can all remember those rock-bottom, can't-turn-anywhere-else moments where we just know we can't battle our lust on our own. So we begin praying and reading His Word for strength. We set up accountability with faithful brothers who will keep us in check. We set personal boundaries for ourselves, such as leaving the computer outside of our room or not using the computer after a certain time. And it works. We begin to start winning that daily battle with the power of God and through the accountability of His people.
But then, we look back to that dark day of hopelessness and count the days since the last relapse. We start slacking in our fervency of prayer or diligence in reading the Word. We feel we don't need to call up our brothers anymore. Oh the wretchedness of man when he relies upon past successes instead of the abundant future grace of God! And it's in that moment when we think, "Hey I got this. I can use the computer in my room alone in the middle of the night. I'll be fine.", that we've begun tumbling down that slope that inevitably leads to failure.
But let us not lose hope! Paul continues to write in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." God is that way out! He wants us to stand firm under the perfect power of his grace rather than our weak effort.
If as the article says "those who are most confident about their self-control are the most likely to give into temptation," then I believe the Christian should live according to the contrapositive of this statement, "Those who are most confident about their not self-control (God's control) are the most likely to not give into temptation." As a Christian we give up our control over the situation. We are far too weak and vulnerable to achieve perfect mastery on our own. We lift up our anxieties unto God and His control and ask for His mercy and grace in our time of need.
However, when I refer to God's control, I do not in anyway excuse the responsibility of man to choose the right over the wrong. I've heard testimonies of how addicts completely lost their desire for drugs once they experienced the amazing love of God. But I don't think God always makes the desire of temptation go away. Bringing it back to men and lust again, God's wired us to be sexual creatures. Knowing how we're tempted, should God rather turn off our sexual desires while we're single and flip it back on when we're married? (Although I'm sure many of us have probably wanted this at one time or another!)
No, God gave us responsibility and power to make moral decisions, even if our sinful desires bend us so far towards the wrong decision. But there is one more helpful hint from Paul that we see in 1 Corinthians 10:11: "These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us." In context of the entire passage, Paul has been referring to how the Corinthians should deal with idolatry. So he retells how God severely punished idolatry in the past as an example and warning for the Corinthians. And Paul writes in verse 13, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man." Basically, there's nothing you're dealing with that you or someone else hasn't dealt with before!
Thus there's no way we can try to blame God and say, "God, it's your fault, you pulled a slick one on me." The Scripture says that God is faithful and He will never let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. But I also think God wants us to be smart and learn from past failures of ourselves and of others. The senior researcher, Loran Nordgren gives this helpful advice: "Avoid situations where such weaknesses thrive, and remember you're not that invincible." Basically, learn from example! For males (again, I know), what makes you think that if you fell because you were home alone before, you won't fall this time? Be smart and avoid situations where you know from the past temptation will be the greatest. Because in the end, God can just turn it right back at us and just say, "Eric, you know you fall when you do this or that, so it's your fault you keep putting yourself in that situation." And as Paul basically exhorts the Corinthians, "Learn from the mistakes of others."
I think there are some mistakes that just aren't worth making to learn from. The cost is too great. I know some people (myself included) have had or have the mentality of "How can you be so sure it's wrong until you've tried it?" or "It won't happen to me, I'm stronger than that." I talked to Ashley Chin today about how important it is to be plugged into a good local church especially in college. How many friends do we know who have severely hampered their faith or even fallen away upon going away for college because they didn't find a church (and more importantly, accountability)? It's an unfortunately high statistic that I would never gamble on. And I thank God every time I think about how I stayed at UCLA instead of going to Berkeley (even if it was for the wrong reasons), because God showed me the matter of life-and-death importance of being plugged into the church.
We're not invincible, and we were never meant to be. There's a reason why even the "weakness of God (like He has any) is stronger than man's strength" (1 Co. 1:25). There's a reason why God's power is "made perfect in weakness" (2 Co. 12:9). God wants us to depend on Him alone in every circumstance and situation, in every temptation and battle.
"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
In Christ Alone,
Eric
Here's the article link.
The article itself is not that long, and I suggest you just read it first, but if you're that lazy here's the main point:
If you think you're generally good at resisting temptation, you're probably wrong, scientists now say.It's interesting study, but should be nothing new to Christians. God through Paul gave us this proverbial truth two thousand years ago! Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:12, "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" Paul understood that when people become confident in their self-control, their ultimate source of dependency is upon the finite, imperfect power of man (self), rather than the infinite, perfect power of God. And Paul knew far too well that the moment we think we're strong because of our own strength is actually our greatest moment of weakness.
"People are not good at anticipating the power of their urges, and those who are the most confident about their self-control are the most likely to give into temptation," said Loran Nordgren, senior lecturer of management and organizations at the Kellogg School of Management, Northwestern University, in Illinois.
The result: Many of us unwittingly expose ourselves to tempting chocolate or cigarettes, leading to a greater likelihood of indulging in addictive behaviors. (italics mine)
Think back to anything you are struggling with or have struggled with in the past. For males, we obviously think of our everyday battle with lust. We can all remember those rock-bottom, can't-turn-anywhere-else moments where we just know we can't battle our lust on our own. So we begin praying and reading His Word for strength. We set up accountability with faithful brothers who will keep us in check. We set personal boundaries for ourselves, such as leaving the computer outside of our room or not using the computer after a certain time. And it works. We begin to start winning that daily battle with the power of God and through the accountability of His people.
But then, we look back to that dark day of hopelessness and count the days since the last relapse. We start slacking in our fervency of prayer or diligence in reading the Word. We feel we don't need to call up our brothers anymore. Oh the wretchedness of man when he relies upon past successes instead of the abundant future grace of God! And it's in that moment when we think, "Hey I got this. I can use the computer in my room alone in the middle of the night. I'll be fine.", that we've begun tumbling down that slope that inevitably leads to failure.
But let us not lose hope! Paul continues to write in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." God is that way out! He wants us to stand firm under the perfect power of his grace rather than our weak effort.
If as the article says "those who are most confident about their self-control are the most likely to give into temptation," then I believe the Christian should live according to the contrapositive of this statement, "Those who are most confident about their not self-control (God's control) are the most likely to not give into temptation." As a Christian we give up our control over the situation. We are far too weak and vulnerable to achieve perfect mastery on our own. We lift up our anxieties unto God and His control and ask for His mercy and grace in our time of need.
However, when I refer to God's control, I do not in anyway excuse the responsibility of man to choose the right over the wrong. I've heard testimonies of how addicts completely lost their desire for drugs once they experienced the amazing love of God. But I don't think God always makes the desire of temptation go away. Bringing it back to men and lust again, God's wired us to be sexual creatures. Knowing how we're tempted, should God rather turn off our sexual desires while we're single and flip it back on when we're married? (Although I'm sure many of us have probably wanted this at one time or another!)
No, God gave us responsibility and power to make moral decisions, even if our sinful desires bend us so far towards the wrong decision. But there is one more helpful hint from Paul that we see in 1 Corinthians 10:11: "These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us." In context of the entire passage, Paul has been referring to how the Corinthians should deal with idolatry. So he retells how God severely punished idolatry in the past as an example and warning for the Corinthians. And Paul writes in verse 13, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man." Basically, there's nothing you're dealing with that you or someone else hasn't dealt with before!
Thus there's no way we can try to blame God and say, "God, it's your fault, you pulled a slick one on me." The Scripture says that God is faithful and He will never let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. But I also think God wants us to be smart and learn from past failures of ourselves and of others. The senior researcher, Loran Nordgren gives this helpful advice: "Avoid situations where such weaknesses thrive, and remember you're not that invincible." Basically, learn from example! For males (again, I know), what makes you think that if you fell because you were home alone before, you won't fall this time? Be smart and avoid situations where you know from the past temptation will be the greatest. Because in the end, God can just turn it right back at us and just say, "Eric, you know you fall when you do this or that, so it's your fault you keep putting yourself in that situation." And as Paul basically exhorts the Corinthians, "Learn from the mistakes of others."
I think there are some mistakes that just aren't worth making to learn from. The cost is too great. I know some people (myself included) have had or have the mentality of "How can you be so sure it's wrong until you've tried it?" or "It won't happen to me, I'm stronger than that." I talked to Ashley Chin today about how important it is to be plugged into a good local church especially in college. How many friends do we know who have severely hampered their faith or even fallen away upon going away for college because they didn't find a church (and more importantly, accountability)? It's an unfortunately high statistic that I would never gamble on. And I thank God every time I think about how I stayed at UCLA instead of going to Berkeley (even if it was for the wrong reasons), because God showed me the matter of life-and-death importance of being plugged into the church.
We're not invincible, and we were never meant to be. There's a reason why even the "weakness of God (like He has any) is stronger than man's strength" (1 Co. 1:25). There's a reason why God's power is "made perfect in weakness" (2 Co. 12:9). God wants us to depend on Him alone in every circumstance and situation, in every temptation and battle.
"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
In Christ Alone,
Eric
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Isan Lovin'
Disclaimer: In the course of my blogging, I may make some pointed criticism at our Western worldview or American Christianity, but this does not mean that I think the Thai worldview or Thai Christianity is inherently better. All worldviews that are not centered around Christ are inherently sinful. However, I have an excellent opportunity to step out of the Korean-American world and try to observe it from a more outsider point of view. When we never bother to challenge or question certain values or beliefs that we hold in our society, Christians especially begin to equate certain secular values as being inherently Christian. I love studying intercultural relationships precisely because it gives me the opportunity to constantly evaluate cultural values I hold so I can affirm or deny values that are not of Christ.
Ralph Winters (the founder of the U.S. Center for World Mission, who recently passed away) similarly wrote:
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During the last stretch of our STEM mission trip, we got to visit the hometown of our Thai pastor, P'Mee. (The trip itself took 12 hours one way - that was pretty tiring, but fun nevertheless.) It's not as shigol as you can get, but it was pretty rural-style living. As you can see in the picture above, people in Isan kill their own food (I didn't kill the chicken. I probably would have cried.), shower with buckets, grow rice, and live in these houses that look like a treehouse made in a combination of Thai and Western style. All in all, it was a very "mission" style trip. (Not to say our mission trips to Chiang Mai and Tokyo are not missions!)
Anyway, our main ministry was to teach English at the local elementary school to students from first to sixth grade. We sang taught some children's Christian songs, performed some dances and played games. Some of these students were so smart and picked up our English songs and lessons so quickly. It was actually kind of sad because when we first arrived, the students were being taught from a video screen because there's no money for teachers. I don't know that much about child development or education, but I do at least know the importance of teacher/student interaction. I hope to come back again and help out more in Isan. (And I can! P'Mee comes to Isan every month and wishes to eventually move back to his hometown to do ministry when he finds a replacement for Grace Fellowship. So pray for him!)
After teaching at school, we invited all the students to come to P'Mee's house for dinner and some more presentations. We performed some children's skits that try to show the importance of sharing and love, but when we threw the candy into the crowd of children, what do you think happened? Some kids got a bunch and others got none. So we tried to hammer in the point by bringing up some kids who had none and some who had a lot. They were asked to share and those who gave little received little, while those who gave much or all, received much more than they had in the first place. I still don't think they got it in the end... =(
My final thought for today:
I think far too often we take certain values at home for granted. P'Mee told me how in Thailand (and Isan) it is expected for politicians to steal money and take bribes. Very little judgment is place towards people who take for themselves funds that were set aside for the community. I'm not saying American society isn't corrupt - any society that does not place its worth in Christ will ultimately be corrupt (and Newsweek labeled America as a post-Christian nation anyway). But regardless of being "post-Christian," many Christian values remain dominant, even if people's hearts have not been spiritually born-again so that they want to live out Christ-like values. Even though the state America is very well headed toward the secular state of Europe, I think people still understand values of sharing and fair play, even if they don't want to do it.
But in Thailand, they neither have these values (ahh I know it's a really broad and divisive statement, just bear with me) nor do they want to do it. One of the things I thought about getting involved in was helping those exploited by Thailand's sex industry. I don't know if I'll have time with the ministry I'm doing, and if the opportunity comes I at least want to be more aware of this issue. But more and more I realize that these things are but expressions and fruit of sinful nature. If it were possible to arrest every single owner of a brothel and every customer, would the problem really be solved? I'm in no way downplaying the efforts of those involved in social justice - all the prophets in the Bible call for helping the oppressed and loosening the chains of injustice. I think these things are absolutely necessary to stop the crimes that are occurring presently. But in the end, Jesus sought to do more than to make people stop doing bad things. He went to the root of the issue - our hearts. We all need for God to replace our heart of stone with a heart of flesh that will give us new desires and affections for Him and His ways.
And so in Isan, I learned just how important it is to really understand the Thai worldview and ultimately point Thai people towards a worldview centered on Christ. And it starts with children before they have become socialized into sinful ways. Every lesson of love and sharing is one seed planted towards the future harvest of a relationship with Christ. These children will eventually grow up and many of them will never have the chance to step outside of their worldview and question whether their values are ultimately right or wrong.
So please pray for these children and all the children of Thailand that from an early age they will have the opportunity for the seeds of the gospel to be sown. And take some time to thank God if you were born with Christian parents or grew up in the church. It's so much more of a blessing than you might think.
And thus I conclude the first month of my trip with STEM. Let's hope and pray that the next 12 months I have alone will be even more full of blessings and insight.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Eric
Ralph Winters (the founder of the U.S. Center for World Mission, who recently passed away) similarly wrote:
"One of the most important functions of the missionary movement is to continually rescue the faith itself from becoming lost through institutional and cultural evolution and absorption....That process of trying to make our faith understandable cross-culturally has in many different but vital ways pumped back into the home church a constantly renewed sense of what is, and what is not the [gospel]....Unless we become as serious about rediscovering the true faith in contrast to the assumptions of our own culture, we will trumpet an uncertain sound wherever else we go."So please feel free to comment or shoot me an email any thoughts, questions, or concerns you may have in the course of reading my blog, and may God bless us in discovering and rediscovering the true gospel of Christ together.
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Some Isan children waiting for dinner. Don't be scared of that Apocalypto girl, the white powder stuff is mosquito repellent (I think).
Yum, fresh chicken for dinner.
During the last stretch of our STEM mission trip, we got to visit the hometown of our Thai pastor, P'Mee. (The trip itself took 12 hours one way - that was pretty tiring, but fun nevertheless.) It's not as shigol as you can get, but it was pretty rural-style living. As you can see in the picture above, people in Isan kill their own food (I didn't kill the chicken. I probably would have cried.), shower with buckets, grow rice, and live in these houses that look like a treehouse made in a combination of Thai and Western style. All in all, it was a very "mission" style trip. (Not to say our mission trips to Chiang Mai and Tokyo are not missions!)
Anyway, our main ministry was to teach English at the local elementary school to students from first to sixth grade. We sang taught some children's Christian songs, performed some dances and played games. Some of these students were so smart and picked up our English songs and lessons so quickly. It was actually kind of sad because when we first arrived, the students were being taught from a video screen because there's no money for teachers. I don't know that much about child development or education, but I do at least know the importance of teacher/student interaction. I hope to come back again and help out more in Isan. (And I can! P'Mee comes to Isan every month and wishes to eventually move back to his hometown to do ministry when he finds a replacement for Grace Fellowship. So pray for him!)
After teaching at school, we invited all the students to come to P'Mee's house for dinner and some more presentations. We performed some children's skits that try to show the importance of sharing and love, but when we threw the candy into the crowd of children, what do you think happened? Some kids got a bunch and others got none. So we tried to hammer in the point by bringing up some kids who had none and some who had a lot. They were asked to share and those who gave little received little, while those who gave much or all, received much more than they had in the first place. I still don't think they got it in the end... =(
My final thought for today:
I think far too often we take certain values at home for granted. P'Mee told me how in Thailand (and Isan) it is expected for politicians to steal money and take bribes. Very little judgment is place towards people who take for themselves funds that were set aside for the community. I'm not saying American society isn't corrupt - any society that does not place its worth in Christ will ultimately be corrupt (and Newsweek labeled America as a post-Christian nation anyway). But regardless of being "post-Christian," many Christian values remain dominant, even if people's hearts have not been spiritually born-again so that they want to live out Christ-like values. Even though the state America is very well headed toward the secular state of Europe, I think people still understand values of sharing and fair play, even if they don't want to do it.
But in Thailand, they neither have these values (ahh I know it's a really broad and divisive statement, just bear with me) nor do they want to do it. One of the things I thought about getting involved in was helping those exploited by Thailand's sex industry. I don't know if I'll have time with the ministry I'm doing, and if the opportunity comes I at least want to be more aware of this issue. But more and more I realize that these things are but expressions and fruit of sinful nature. If it were possible to arrest every single owner of a brothel and every customer, would the problem really be solved? I'm in no way downplaying the efforts of those involved in social justice - all the prophets in the Bible call for helping the oppressed and loosening the chains of injustice. I think these things are absolutely necessary to stop the crimes that are occurring presently. But in the end, Jesus sought to do more than to make people stop doing bad things. He went to the root of the issue - our hearts. We all need for God to replace our heart of stone with a heart of flesh that will give us new desires and affections for Him and His ways.
And so in Isan, I learned just how important it is to really understand the Thai worldview and ultimately point Thai people towards a worldview centered on Christ. And it starts with children before they have become socialized into sinful ways. Every lesson of love and sharing is one seed planted towards the future harvest of a relationship with Christ. These children will eventually grow up and many of them will never have the chance to step outside of their worldview and question whether their values are ultimately right or wrong.
So please pray for these children and all the children of Thailand that from an early age they will have the opportunity for the seeds of the gospel to be sown. And take some time to thank God if you were born with Christian parents or grew up in the church. It's so much more of a blessing than you might think.
And thus I conclude the first month of my trip with STEM. Let's hope and pray that the next 12 months I have alone will be even more full of blessings and insight.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Eric
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