A couple nights ago I was eating dinnerwith Tiff, a junior at Chiang Mai University and a member of Grace Fellowship, when she received a phone call from her sister. After hanging up, Tiff excitedly told me about how her sister just had an experience with God. (For some more background info, Tiff accepted Christ within the last half year and has told me her sister was not very interested in becoming Christian.) Tiff has a lot of passion to know God even as a new believer and so I rejoiced with her at this news. I then asked her what this experience was and she told me the following: Her parents had just bought a new motorcycle for her sister. Her sister had gone to the mall and realized she lost her keys. So she prayed really hard to God and when she arrived at her motorcycle her key was in the basket.
I don't know what to think in these situations. I read or heard somewhere that Westerners like to have these categorical thought or belief systems and how if anything doesn't fit they like to just discard the evidence. I know that with God all things are possible and that He can help even with lost keys. But I wonder to what frequency does He do these things? How glorified is He in these things? I mean if this experience leads her to be more interested about Christ and eventually call upon Him as Lord and Savior, then I say "Praise God!" But whether she comes to saving faith or not, my biggest fear is that people would see God as some sort of insurance in times of need. I believe God is not glorified when the only time we seek Him is during the bad and troubled times. God wants to be worshiped and sought during times of joy and times when things go well. The worst degree of this kind of Christianity would be the prosperity gospel which teaches that God will help you get a better job, have better health, and be rich if you just pray to Him and have faith.
But I don't want to be some kind of spiritual buzz kill and be like, "Hey praise God, I'm glad to hear that He answered your sister's prayers. But remember Philippians 1:29, 'For it has been granted to you for that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake.' We should learn to be absolutely content and happy in God even if God wanted us to lose a motorcycle. God has promised we will suffer as Christians. But remember, God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him, not his gifts or things he does for us."
I agree with John Piper that when Christians see God as some kind of divine vending-machine, they are led to believe that God would not let "bad" things happen to them. And when these bad things do happen, they turn away from God because they never loved him, only the nice circumstances they attributed to God. And I agree with John Piper that a Christian who truly values Christ would worship him in all circumstances, whether rich or poor, whether things go well or go wrong, and that God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
But to someone who has not seen the value and worth of Christ yet? This sounds like utter foolishness. But who says God can't work in the simple things like lost keys? And if God was really working through that, why can't I be fully happy for Tiff's sister? Why do I have to think about all these ultimate reasons and ultimate purposes for God or prayer? Am I just making a big deal out of nothing and not trusting God's wisdom in these issues by trying to bring my theology into every little issue?
Maybe sometimes God works in people's lives, like He did in Apostle Paul's life leading Paul to give up all things and count all things as loss for the sake of knowing Christ. (But then again he had a lifetime full of hardcore religiosity before he found the grace of God through Christ). And maybe sometimes God works slowly and steadily, like He did in my life, as God worked over years and countless stupid mistakes to help me give up more and more of my life to Him. But in my case, I had good teaching and good books to guide me in valuing God above all things and not using Him as a divine vending-machine.
So readers, I'd like to hear your thoughts. When is the right time to teach about the deeper things of Christianity? Since it's just one incident, I don't need to get all worried about some prosperity gospel or vending-machine God gospel seeping into the Thai churches right? (exaggeration) Should we as Christians let people know that God isn't all about just making our lives happy and neat before they become Christians? Or should we let them hold some slightly incorrect or incomplete views and have their experiences with God before these things are taught? Or should I just not hold such a strong-Piper theology? hahaha.
I just really want everyone to see and understand God as correctly as possible. Right thinking produces right action.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Who You Are Determines What You Do
I have a problem. I'm naturally a pretty lazy guy, but that's only half of the problem. I'm lazy, but I'm idealistic and I like to think about things in the ultimate sense (as much as I can think in accordance with the Word). So I think a lot about what an ideal church community looks like or even more personally, I think a lot about what an ideal Christian or missionary looks like. But on the other hand I'm lazy and I don't do what is obviously needed to become more like the ideal. And I guess the last part of the problem would be that it's too easy to fall into thinking that "What you do determines who you are," instead of "Who you are determines what you do."
So on days here when I have plenty of people to teach English or guitar to and I have to spend time preparing lessons and things like that, I feel good about myself. I think, "Hey, I'm here for missions and now I have mission work!" So in my working and doing I feel like I'm (1) overcoming laziness (2) being a better missionary and (3) thinking my Christian work is making me more Christian.
Then I have days like these when students are on break and have gone home, classes have been canceled or postponed, or people don't want to learn anymore. I have more free time on my hands than I'm used to, and I'm not using it to read books or study Thai. I'm not doing much at all, and in my wrong way of thinking, not doing equates to not being a good Christian or a good missionary. This makes me depressed, which makes me even more lazy, which makes me do less, which makes feel like less of a Christian, which makes me more depressed (you get the idea).
As I reminded myself yesterday that being Christians is not what you do but who you are (by what Christ has done for us), God gave me a little reminder of the kind of fruitful work that overflows from an assurance of who you are. I went to my Thai class after skipping three of them (two of I skipped because I was fishing), and there was this new caucasian girl in the class. The only available seat was next to her, so I took it. They were going over a packet the teacher had handed out last week, and because the teacher had no more, I had to share with this girl next to me (No this is not a falling in love story).
During break, I found out that she was going to be in the course for a month and I was amazed to find out she knew so much Thai for being here only a month. She was struggling, but she had apparently studied so much to catch up with a class that had been learning for three months (and I've already taken a year of Thai at UCLA - Go Bruins!). She went up to the teacher to get some more help and I happened to glance over at her notebook which lay open on the table.
There was a list of vocabulary words that she had written down for herself to learn later and on it were some English words that she apparently had not found the Thai equivalent for yet.
come - maa
go - pay
broken -
prostitute -
Jesus -
I was like what?! Jesus?! She's Christian?! I talked to her more and found out she had been taking the Teaching English as a Second Language class and was planning to go to Mae Sai in a month to teach English to victims of sex trafficking. She had some kinda contact at Grace International School (school for missionary kids) and was offered a job there, but her heart was for victims of sex trafficking and she turned it down.
I never asked her age, but she looked like my age or maybe still even in college. She wasn't here with an organization and had apparently come by personal means. Yet here she was with a burning desire to learn and master Thai and go reach out to the people that God had burdened her heart with.
So I told her the words for Jesus, God, and grace (I don't know prostitute) and she was quite thankful. But as I sit here writing this post, I'm so thankful to God for putting this girl in the class, even if only for a month, to remind me of the kind of "work" that overflows from one passionate for God. I want have that kind of passion that motivates me to learn as many Thai words about Christianity as I can to share the gospel even by limited means. I'm sure for this girl studying is not a sacrifice or a chore - every word learned is one more bit of joy to share with those around her.
God help me devote my time, energies, and effort to your work here. Let me see the glory of your Son and what He has done to assure me of who I am. I am a new creation. I am a slave to righteousness. Who I am, a child of God, determines what I do. And from this identity, may such a passionate love for you and a burdened heart for your people overflow, so that work or effort would not really be "work."
So on days here when I have plenty of people to teach English or guitar to and I have to spend time preparing lessons and things like that, I feel good about myself. I think, "Hey, I'm here for missions and now I have mission work!" So in my working and doing I feel like I'm (1) overcoming laziness (2) being a better missionary and (3) thinking my Christian work is making me more Christian.
Then I have days like these when students are on break and have gone home, classes have been canceled or postponed, or people don't want to learn anymore. I have more free time on my hands than I'm used to, and I'm not using it to read books or study Thai. I'm not doing much at all, and in my wrong way of thinking, not doing equates to not being a good Christian or a good missionary. This makes me depressed, which makes me even more lazy, which makes me do less, which makes feel like less of a Christian, which makes me more depressed (you get the idea).
As I reminded myself yesterday that being Christians is not what you do but who you are (by what Christ has done for us), God gave me a little reminder of the kind of fruitful work that overflows from an assurance of who you are. I went to my Thai class after skipping three of them (two of I skipped because I was fishing), and there was this new caucasian girl in the class. The only available seat was next to her, so I took it. They were going over a packet the teacher had handed out last week, and because the teacher had no more, I had to share with this girl next to me (No this is not a falling in love story).
During break, I found out that she was going to be in the course for a month and I was amazed to find out she knew so much Thai for being here only a month. She was struggling, but she had apparently studied so much to catch up with a class that had been learning for three months (and I've already taken a year of Thai at UCLA - Go Bruins!). She went up to the teacher to get some more help and I happened to glance over at her notebook which lay open on the table.
There was a list of vocabulary words that she had written down for herself to learn later and on it were some English words that she apparently had not found the Thai equivalent for yet.
come - maa
go - pay
broken -
prostitute -
Jesus -
I was like what?! Jesus?! She's Christian?! I talked to her more and found out she had been taking the Teaching English as a Second Language class and was planning to go to Mae Sai in a month to teach English to victims of sex trafficking. She had some kinda contact at Grace International School (school for missionary kids) and was offered a job there, but her heart was for victims of sex trafficking and she turned it down.
I never asked her age, but she looked like my age or maybe still even in college. She wasn't here with an organization and had apparently come by personal means. Yet here she was with a burning desire to learn and master Thai and go reach out to the people that God had burdened her heart with.
So I told her the words for Jesus, God, and grace (I don't know prostitute) and she was quite thankful. But as I sit here writing this post, I'm so thankful to God for putting this girl in the class, even if only for a month, to remind me of the kind of "work" that overflows from one passionate for God. I want have that kind of passion that motivates me to learn as many Thai words about Christianity as I can to share the gospel even by limited means. I'm sure for this girl studying is not a sacrifice or a chore - every word learned is one more bit of joy to share with those around her.
God help me devote my time, energies, and effort to your work here. Let me see the glory of your Son and what He has done to assure me of who I am. I am a new creation. I am a slave to righteousness. Who I am, a child of God, determines what I do. And from this identity, may such a passionate love for you and a burdened heart for your people overflow, so that work or effort would not really be "work."
Thursday, October 15, 2009
We're Changing, God is Unchanging - What Good News!
Haha, look at this guy. John Piper at age 31. It was his 30th anniversary a day ago since he became the pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church and left the world of academics for preaching the glory of Christ. It's hard to imagine someone that I so highly respect and admire at 31, an age where people are still trying to grow up and battle their youthful pride. Piper recounts a story from his seminary days, where he goes up to his professor to argue about human free will and drops a pen defiantly to prove his point saying, "I (not God) dropped it."
Pictures of old people when they were young always makes you consider the weight and reality of time. Time always passes, and people are always changing - either more in accordance to the image of Christ or more in sync with their depraved nature. I was not the same person I was five years ago, nor will I be the same person in five years (even if I choose to go back to the same childish ways). I mean imagine me at 28 acting like I did at 18 - I wouldn't be immature in the sense of an 18 year old, but that immaturity is at an even greater degree because I'm physically 28! Everything changes, from fashion to internet socializing sites (remember friendster?). But if we try to define ourselves in reference to any of these things that sway to and fro on the waves of time, there's no hope for any constancy. Only Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He is the only firm foundation that we can rely on.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German Protestant Christian who was part of the Nazi resistance in World War II, sheds some light on the illusory constancy of this world and the absolute constancy of God in The Cost of Discipleship:
The disciple is dragged out of his relative security into a life of absolute insecurity (that is, in truth, into the absolute security and safety of the fellowship of Jesus), from a life which is observable and calculable (it is, in fact, quite incalculable) into a life where everything is unobservable and fortuitous (that is, into one which is necessary and calculable), out of the realm of finite (which is in truth the infinite) into the realm of infinite possibilities (which is one liberating reality).How this world so convincingly tells us to put our hope in a nice job or a good husband or wife and when it comes down to it, our own good deeds based on our own standards of good! But we know from the recent recession that finances are never secure; I know from my past relationships that people fail you; and I know from my daily battle with sin that my playing arithmetic with my good and bad deeds will never add up. So often we're so myopic and fail to see beyond ourselves in our actions and the circumstances of our lives - when we succeed and things are going well, we pat ourselves on the back and sink into a contented apathy, and when we fail and things are going badly, we despair like the entire world is falling apart around us. We're so centered on ourselves when we ourselves are always changing that it's no surprise when the gospel according to ourselves fails us.
But the gospel is not according to our "self." What kind of good news is dependent upon uncertain circumstances or inconstant action? The gospel is completely outside of ourselves. It's the good news that the unchanging God has stepped into the ever-changing and fluctuating history of man to accomplish a work that will stand completely on its own! When Paul describes "the gospel preached to you" in 1 Corinthians 15 he says, "Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." There is no talk whatsoever about anything we did to be rid of our sins and be reconciled with God. Rather, Christ died in our place and was raised by God to be the first-fruit and the hope of our future resurrection. And the fact that it was all "in accordance with the Scriptures" means God is truly unchanging and faithful to his promises, "For all the promises of God find their Yes in [Christ]" (2 Co. 1:20). The only "we," "us," or "our" in the gospel is that we are the recipients of a work done outside of us.
Thus the Bible says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2). The only thing we do is to fix our eyes and look at what Christ has done, just as the Israelites looked to the bronze serpent to be healed. Jesus is the author and begins our faith, and he, not we, is the perfecter and finisher of it. He doesn't give us faith and ask us to finish it with our obedience. Jesus creates faith and leads us to continue putting our faith in what Christ has done. From this and only this comes the good fruit of obedience from faith. Jesus is the "rock that is higher than I" (Psalm 61:2) and we must look beyond the rock (really quicksand) of ourselves, to the firm rock and refuge that is Christ.
I remember praying once to God crying out, "Abba, Father!" and I had to stop and think about what it meant to call God my "father." I think parents only naturally have certain expectations and standards for their children as they grow up. Unfortunately children tend to correlate parental love with their obedience or their measuring up to a set standard. And I too often superimpose this image of my earthly father or mother upon the heavenly Father. God loves me but has certain expectations of me. Too bad He calls us to be holy, as He is holy. What an infinitely difficult standard to measure up to. There are some days when I feel like I'm doing well at being holy and I feel loved, and some days when I'm sucking it up and I feel God doesn't love me.
But then I pictured myself not as the twenty-something-year-old Eric, but the seven-year-old Eric. I remembered giving my dad a card for Father's Day where I drew a picture of him behind his office desk. I remembered doing stupid things like parting my hair like an old Korean man, putting on an old pair of my dad's glasses, and wearing shorts and a wife beater to be just like him. The card had no real aesthetic value - you certainly wouldn't see my portrait of my dad in the Getty - but it was the fact my dad loved me which made the card count for anything. When I put on clothes to look like my dad, I'm not a mirror-image of a man; I am small boy trying my hardest to imitate the person I so highly admire. My dad had no requirements for a seven-year-old Eric to earn his love. My dad just loved me because I was his son, completely independent of the crappy artwork on Father's Day cards.
God's love always wants us to change and be transformed into the holy image of his Son, yet God's love is always grounded in the obedience of Christ which lead to our adoption as sons and daughters of God. And I believe God loves us always with the same kind of love (but even more infinitely) that an earthly father has for an child who can produce no real beautiful work or measure up to any real standards.
If Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever, that means the love that God had for me when I was justified by grace through faith in Christ and adopted as his son is the same as the love he has for me now as I am being saved by grace and sanctified and conformed into the image of his Son. And the endless love that God will have for me on that day when all things are made new and my will, desire and actions are made into the likeness of Christ is the same as the love he has for me today, and the day I put my faith in Christ.
I am changing. I am being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another (2 Co. 3:18), but this is because of what God did, what God is doing, and what God will do, not what I did, what I am doing, and what I will do. I'll have good days where I love God and seek him with all my heart and I'll have bad days where He might be the last thing I want. But when I look back to two thousand years ago at what God did through Christ, what hope I have for the future!
Dedicated to Mom and Dad who show me through their love, even if dimly as imperfect humans, the love of God that is unchanging and neverending.
*** edit ***
I've received some complaints that this post is confusing or all over the place and it's true. If I wanted the post to be a little more coherent, I probably never would have talked about John Piper. This post was originally just titled "John Piper" when I found an old picture of him and I wanted to comment on it.
Think of it more as Eric's thought process or thought progression. This is literally how I think about things. So I'll give a little outline map through my thoughts:
1. John Piper - Look how young he is, ha ha. (Originally where I wanted to stop).
2. Hmm, I wonder what he was like when he was younger. Because it's hard to imagine godly men when they were young and sinful right?
3. Man people sure do change a lot - it's actually pretty depressing.
4. Hmm, how does God's immutability or unchanging-ness play into the picture?
5. Oh yeah, Dietrich Bonhoeffer said something cool about the uncertainty and changing nature of a life apart from God. Let's put that in there.
6. So how does the gospel play into this thought about man's mutability and God's immutability? (How the gospel plays into anything in life is always a great question.)
7. The good news of the gospel is planted firmly in something God did in the past, not what we do now to earn salvation.
8. If through the gospel we become children of God, how is God's unchanging nature good news to our fickle nature, even if we're now saved?
9. Hmm, the love of parents for their children even as they grow older seems like a good example.
10. Let's just throw in the picture of me and my parents for good measure. And it reminds me about being loved as a kid. Oh, I should rename my post now.
I'm always a spur of the moment kind of writer, and I was already late for class so I just posted it. I don't think I'll ever go back and revise this into a nice focused piece of writing - but the themes, thoughts and ideas will probably show up in the future in some form or another. Just a good reminder not to post unorganized posts again. =)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Musings from a Lake in Thailand
During the past four days, I had the opportunity and the privilege to tag along with my Thai pastor on a fishing trip somewhere in west central Thailand, along the border of Burma and Thailand. I invited a freshman from Grace Fellowship to come with us because he spoke English pretty well and I wanted to get closer with him. So on Sunday, after church finished, P'Mee (my pastor), View (the freshman), me and three other friends of P'Mee loaded our stuff into a pick-up truck and set off on a supposedly twelve hour journey (it actually took almost fifteen with all the breaks and meals).
View and I sat in the backseat of the truck. It's not one of those comfortable backseats with actual seats and seatbelts, but more like a little bench with a cushion. It was uncomfortable, but seeing that two of P'Mee's friends were going sit in the back of the truck for twelve hours, who was I to complain? At least we had A/C. Then as we started driving and I saw the Burmese day laborers being crammed in the back of trucks, standing exposed to the scorching sun and intermittent rain, I was thankful to God that what I had was probably comparable to a limo ride for Americans.
We arrived around 4:30 AM in the morning on Monday as we made our way to the lakeside. Foolish, American me, I thought there would be some kind of dock or something, but nope just some mud and reeds. I'm not gonna say I'm the cleanliest of folks, and I'm surely not neat (look at my room or my desk), but being a Korean, I like keeping my feet and my clothes clean. I've been on probably over fifty camping trips with Boy Scouts when I was in high-school, so I'm not some newbie when it comes to being in the outdoors. But even during those days, I never sat on the ground or the dirt. I always sat on a nice "cleaner" rock. I'd always take off my shoes before I went into my tent, and I'd never go into my sleeping bag with my dirty outside clothes. (I'm beginning to think maybe I am some kind of clean freak...haha). Bit of a digression, but anyway I had worn my athletic running shoes thinking I could keep my feet clean the entire time I was on this trip. WRONG! Thai people don't wear shoes (unless they're "hi-so" or high society type). They all wear slippers. Everywhere. They play soccer in slippers, they go hiking in slippers...it must be a national footwear. So, I had to just leave my shoes in the truck and put on my slippers that I brought in my bag (Boy Scout motto: Be prepared - in other words, overpack). I actually felt kind of sheepish that I had brought along two bags when everyone else only had one, but whatever, the second backpack was for my bible and my books and snacks so I'm not that high maintenance. So I had to walk through the water to get on the motor boat/canoe that would take us to our boat raft/house.
First lesson about being Thai, don't bother trying to keep your feet clean. That's the reason why there's such a cultural taboo with feet and pointing with your feet or touching things with your feet. Thai people know feet get dirty. (I'm thinking Iris would have a fit - cuz knowing me I'd probably try to put my feet in her blankets after walking around all day barefoot...hahaha. By the way, Iris is leaving to Japan soon, so support her with much love and prayer!)
So I don't remember too much of the first day because I slept pretty much the entire day. I woke up every now and then when someone caught a big fish or something. But man fresh fish for every meal. That is surely one of the highlights of the trip. Oh but after eating, we did the dishes in the lake. The same lake we pooped and peed in. (I forgot to take a picture of the toilet, it's basically a squatty potty that empties into the lake) And halfway through the trip, we ran out of dishwashing soap, so they just rinsed the plates and cups in the lake and let it dry. Often times the cups wouldn't even be washed so ants would crawl all over them. Now in America, when ants get all over my food I think that the food is bad and I throw it away. In Thailand, if ants get all over your food, you just brush it off and eat it. Did I mention the ant infestation on the raft? I got so many ant bites and zero mosquito bites. And the ants were everywhere, but the Thai guys didn't seem to mind. They just sit on top of a pile of ants like it's nothing. And all I can think about is ants crawling up my pants. But what am I to do with my Korean American sensibilities and notions of cleanliness? Paul became like a Jew to the Jews and like a Greek to the Greeks, so I had to be a Thai to the Thais (everyone thinks I look Thai anyway). Yes, I ate out of those dishes and cups and swam and took showers in the lake. I didn't catch any diseases or die. Maybe all the fuss we make about being clean in American or Korean culture is unwarranted. For all I can remember, when I went to the countryside in Korea, they live pretty similarly to Thai people. Maybe the notion of being clean is all in my head. Jesus said being clean is not what you do on the outside but what you do on the inside. (What a great way to take the Bible out of context, I know.)
Four out of five of P'Mee's friends there were not Christian, so I wanted to live out as much Christianity as I could due to my lack of speaking ability. I knew P'Mee would speak and did speak to them at anytime about it. They were such nice people and took care of me, asked me if I needed anything, etc. One time they made a fish dish that was just too spicy and I was dying, so one of the guys made me some eggs to eat instead. I became more and more aware on this trip about my cultural sensibilities that could serve as huge hindering blocks to sharing the gospel. My certain reluctant attitudes - using "unclean" dishes and utensils, or showering in the lake, using the toilet, walking around barefeet - had to die. P'Mee has shared with me before about how Thai people don't like Americans because Americans tend to act like they're better than the Thais. I don't believe this consciously, but isn't that exactly what my actions were showing? "Hey, even though you guys eat out of these dishes and are completely fine, I'm going to be hesitant because my values of cleanliness are better than yours." "I'm going to complain about how uncomfortable the twelve hour ride is - wait you mean it's a fifteen hour ride?! - because in America everyone gets a nice seat and seatbelt and side airbags" "I'm going to try and walk around in my shoes because I think feet being clean is better than feet being dirty." I mean in the end, will it kill you to have dirty feet? Nope. I did the best I could and by no means was I perfectly able to live like the Thais. But think about Jesus coming into the world - the pure, clean, and holy Son of God not counting his equality with God a thing to be grasped, and getting dirty and messy and facing the everyday temptations of man. Did Jesus think he was too good to become man? No, and I couldn't think I was too good to become Thai.
I'm not a fishing fanatic, but I do like being in nature and absorbing the glory of God's creation. So I fished here and there with some small poles and if you check out my facebook album, you'll see the pathetic little fish I caught. But it's okay. Waking up at six in the morning to see the sun rise through the morning mist, listening to the rain pattering onthe raft roof and on the surface of the lake, beholding the sun setting in an orange and red glory over the mountains in the west, it's all worth the trouble. I read two books while I was on the lake - The Bible and the Pleasures of God by John Piper. And now here are my quick reviews:
The Pleasures of God is pretty much John Piper's theology book. And his theology is pretty much God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him. What I love about reading Piper is he's always pushing the reader to look further and beyond the limits of what we know and have experienced. Piper doesn't dwell in the everyday practicalities of being a Christian any longer than he needs to. And for an idealistic person like me, his writing resounds with something in my soul. God is infinitely powerful and glorious and he is our greatest satisfaction. Ask me for a Christian book that will feed your soul and I'll point you to Piper. Using more than just intellectual words and thoughts, he attempts to help your soul savor and experiencing what knowing Christ is. After I finished his section on how prayer glorifies God, I ended up praying for an hour while everyone was sleeping. He's that good at showing how God is good.
As for the Bible, I read through the major and minor prophets, which is something I think I've never done in my life. I've studied New Testament and I love to read it because it's something that makes sense to me. I use history and theology and all that to understand the gospels and the letters and it brings me joy to understand what the writers were talking about in their own context. But I probably don't like the prophets the same reason I don't like Revelations, I just can't understand it! And that's my flaw because I worry too much about understanding a passage rather than letting the passage speak to me. But as I read through the writings of the prophets, I just turned that side of my brain off and tried to appreciate the literary and metaphorical aspects of those books. Here's some things I learned:
I returned from the trip yesterday with a bruised tailbone and sore gluteous muscles from sitting in the back "seat" of the truck. I really couldn't sit down unless I sat in some weird position. I was literally about to scream by hour ten. I sat on my pillow and I adjusted every five minutes, but I was dying. It didn't help that we had two extra guys return with us. And that already small back "seat" was now occupied by me, View AND P'Mee. That return trip almost ruined the great four days I had at the lake...almost.
Last note of thought: I turned on my computer after returning and checked my google reader to find over 150 unread blogposts. I know I wrote about how great reading blogs were, but I want to make a clarification. The blogging world is tied inextricably with the fast paced world that we live in. You literally have to fight to stay with the flow. I realize I didn't need to real ALL those blogs and I unsubscribed from some. A few. I mean was I really missing out on all that much, compared to reading the Pleasures of God on a lake or reading the Prophets as the sun rises and falls? I don't think so.
Well that was long and fun, I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed my trip.
Writing with a sore tailbone,
Eric
View and I sat in the backseat of the truck. It's not one of those comfortable backseats with actual seats and seatbelts, but more like a little bench with a cushion. It was uncomfortable, but seeing that two of P'Mee's friends were going sit in the back of the truck for twelve hours, who was I to complain? At least we had A/C. Then as we started driving and I saw the Burmese day laborers being crammed in the back of trucks, standing exposed to the scorching sun and intermittent rain, I was thankful to God that what I had was probably comparable to a limo ride for Americans.
We arrived around 4:30 AM in the morning on Monday as we made our way to the lakeside. Foolish, American me, I thought there would be some kind of dock or something, but nope just some mud and reeds. I'm not gonna say I'm the cleanliest of folks, and I'm surely not neat (look at my room or my desk), but being a Korean, I like keeping my feet and my clothes clean. I've been on probably over fifty camping trips with Boy Scouts when I was in high-school, so I'm not some newbie when it comes to being in the outdoors. But even during those days, I never sat on the ground or the dirt. I always sat on a nice "cleaner" rock. I'd always take off my shoes before I went into my tent, and I'd never go into my sleeping bag with my dirty outside clothes. (I'm beginning to think maybe I am some kind of clean freak...haha). Bit of a digression, but anyway I had worn my athletic running shoes thinking I could keep my feet clean the entire time I was on this trip. WRONG! Thai people don't wear shoes (unless they're "hi-so" or high society type). They all wear slippers. Everywhere. They play soccer in slippers, they go hiking in slippers...it must be a national footwear. So, I had to just leave my shoes in the truck and put on my slippers that I brought in my bag (Boy Scout motto: Be prepared - in other words, overpack). I actually felt kind of sheepish that I had brought along two bags when everyone else only had one, but whatever, the second backpack was for my bible and my books and snacks so I'm not that high maintenance. So I had to walk through the water to get on the motor boat/canoe that would take us to our boat raft/house.
First lesson about being Thai, don't bother trying to keep your feet clean. That's the reason why there's such a cultural taboo with feet and pointing with your feet or touching things with your feet. Thai people know feet get dirty. (I'm thinking Iris would have a fit - cuz knowing me I'd probably try to put my feet in her blankets after walking around all day barefoot...hahaha. By the way, Iris is leaving to Japan soon, so support her with much love and prayer!)
So I don't remember too much of the first day because I slept pretty much the entire day. I woke up every now and then when someone caught a big fish or something. But man fresh fish for every meal. That is surely one of the highlights of the trip. Oh but after eating, we did the dishes in the lake. The same lake we pooped and peed in. (I forgot to take a picture of the toilet, it's basically a squatty potty that empties into the lake) And halfway through the trip, we ran out of dishwashing soap, so they just rinsed the plates and cups in the lake and let it dry. Often times the cups wouldn't even be washed so ants would crawl all over them. Now in America, when ants get all over my food I think that the food is bad and I throw it away. In Thailand, if ants get all over your food, you just brush it off and eat it. Did I mention the ant infestation on the raft? I got so many ant bites and zero mosquito bites. And the ants were everywhere, but the Thai guys didn't seem to mind. They just sit on top of a pile of ants like it's nothing. And all I can think about is ants crawling up my pants. But what am I to do with my Korean American sensibilities and notions of cleanliness? Paul became like a Jew to the Jews and like a Greek to the Greeks, so I had to be a Thai to the Thais (everyone thinks I look Thai anyway). Yes, I ate out of those dishes and cups and swam and took showers in the lake. I didn't catch any diseases or die. Maybe all the fuss we make about being clean in American or Korean culture is unwarranted. For all I can remember, when I went to the countryside in Korea, they live pretty similarly to Thai people. Maybe the notion of being clean is all in my head. Jesus said being clean is not what you do on the outside but what you do on the inside. (What a great way to take the Bible out of context, I know.)
Four out of five of P'Mee's friends there were not Christian, so I wanted to live out as much Christianity as I could due to my lack of speaking ability. I knew P'Mee would speak and did speak to them at anytime about it. They were such nice people and took care of me, asked me if I needed anything, etc. One time they made a fish dish that was just too spicy and I was dying, so one of the guys made me some eggs to eat instead. I became more and more aware on this trip about my cultural sensibilities that could serve as huge hindering blocks to sharing the gospel. My certain reluctant attitudes - using "unclean" dishes and utensils, or showering in the lake, using the toilet, walking around barefeet - had to die. P'Mee has shared with me before about how Thai people don't like Americans because Americans tend to act like they're better than the Thais. I don't believe this consciously, but isn't that exactly what my actions were showing? "Hey, even though you guys eat out of these dishes and are completely fine, I'm going to be hesitant because my values of cleanliness are better than yours." "I'm going to complain about how uncomfortable the twelve hour ride is - wait you mean it's a fifteen hour ride?! - because in America everyone gets a nice seat and seatbelt and side airbags" "I'm going to try and walk around in my shoes because I think feet being clean is better than feet being dirty." I mean in the end, will it kill you to have dirty feet? Nope. I did the best I could and by no means was I perfectly able to live like the Thais. But think about Jesus coming into the world - the pure, clean, and holy Son of God not counting his equality with God a thing to be grasped, and getting dirty and messy and facing the everyday temptations of man. Did Jesus think he was too good to become man? No, and I couldn't think I was too good to become Thai.
I'm not a fishing fanatic, but I do like being in nature and absorbing the glory of God's creation. So I fished here and there with some small poles and if you check out my facebook album, you'll see the pathetic little fish I caught. But it's okay. Waking up at six in the morning to see the sun rise through the morning mist, listening to the rain pattering onthe raft roof and on the surface of the lake, beholding the sun setting in an orange and red glory over the mountains in the west, it's all worth the trouble. I read two books while I was on the lake - The Bible and the Pleasures of God by John Piper. And now here are my quick reviews:
The Pleasures of God is pretty much John Piper's theology book. And his theology is pretty much God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him. What I love about reading Piper is he's always pushing the reader to look further and beyond the limits of what we know and have experienced. Piper doesn't dwell in the everyday practicalities of being a Christian any longer than he needs to. And for an idealistic person like me, his writing resounds with something in my soul. God is infinitely powerful and glorious and he is our greatest satisfaction. Ask me for a Christian book that will feed your soul and I'll point you to Piper. Using more than just intellectual words and thoughts, he attempts to help your soul savor and experiencing what knowing Christ is. After I finished his section on how prayer glorifies God, I ended up praying for an hour while everyone was sleeping. He's that good at showing how God is good.
As for the Bible, I read through the major and minor prophets, which is something I think I've never done in my life. I've studied New Testament and I love to read it because it's something that makes sense to me. I use history and theology and all that to understand the gospels and the letters and it brings me joy to understand what the writers were talking about in their own context. But I probably don't like the prophets the same reason I don't like Revelations, I just can't understand it! And that's my flaw because I worry too much about understanding a passage rather than letting the passage speak to me. But as I read through the writings of the prophets, I just turned that side of my brain off and tried to appreciate the literary and metaphorical aspects of those books. Here's some things I learned:
1. You almost get depressed by how much God is angry about sin. Almost sick of it. It goes on and on about how Israel was unfaithful and how God will punish unfaithfulness. But it's a great reminder that our God is a holy God. His holiness cannot stand the slightest bit of sin's presence. I think we read so much about the love and grace of God and forget what His love and grace is actually saving us from, which is wrath and indignation towards rebellion and lawlessness. The prophets remind us we fall absolutely short of the glory of God.So I truly realized how important it is for all of us to just get away from the hustle and bustle of life and work and family and school and ministry and just spend sometime doing nothing - that is doing nothing with God. My soul was refreshed and during my times of reading and praying God gave me so many ideas for ministry and reassurances of what I was doing and why I was here. Sometimes we just need to take a breather and breathe God..haha.
2. Amidst this sea of depressing talk of sin and punishment, you'll find islands of promise of salvation. And especially when you know these promises are not just given to Israel, but that they are new covenant promises of Jesus, you're just amazed at how God was able to speak about Jesus hundreds of years before he was even born. (One particular favorite of mine is Ezekiel 34. It's a great one for leaders.) God was relentless in his condemnation of Israel, but He knew without the life-giving, obedience-producing Spirit of the new covenant, man could not work their way to God. So God gives promises of a future relentless love in Christ Jesus as a hope to Israel, and now the church.
3. Reading the prophets really puts "the fear of the LORD" in perspective doesn't it? Without the righteousness we have in Christ, I would not want to come before the glory of God. I mean look at what Isaiah writes in Isaiah 6. "Woe is me!" But knowing the love of God we have through Christ, this fear of God is something to be praised and loved and be in awe of. Piper gives the example of being on the ledge of a cliff by the sea during a thunderstorm and fearing for your life as the fear of God without Christ. But knowing Christ is like being taken into the safety of a cave on that cliff and watching the thunderstorm and still feeling the fear of what it's able to do while feeling the safety and dryness of the cave. What an amazing, fearful God we serve!
4. It's always fun to find passages that New Testament writers quoted, or songwriters use. I underlined those.
I returned from the trip yesterday with a bruised tailbone and sore gluteous muscles from sitting in the back "seat" of the truck. I really couldn't sit down unless I sat in some weird position. I was literally about to scream by hour ten. I sat on my pillow and I adjusted every five minutes, but I was dying. It didn't help that we had two extra guys return with us. And that already small back "seat" was now occupied by me, View AND P'Mee. That return trip almost ruined the great four days I had at the lake...almost.
Last note of thought: I turned on my computer after returning and checked my google reader to find over 150 unread blogposts. I know I wrote about how great reading blogs were, but I want to make a clarification. The blogging world is tied inextricably with the fast paced world that we live in. You literally have to fight to stay with the flow. I realize I didn't need to real ALL those blogs and I unsubscribed from some. A few. I mean was I really missing out on all that much, compared to reading the Pleasures of God on a lake or reading the Prophets as the sun rises and falls? I don't think so.
Well that was long and fun, I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed my trip.
Writing with a sore tailbone,
Eric
Pictures are UP from Fishing Trip!
You like my new blog background picture? Check out some more at my facebook.
My Facebook
The Photo Album
I will blog soon about the trip. Stay posted!
My Facebook
The Photo Album
I will blog soon about the trip. Stay posted!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Living With No Regrets
2 Corinthians 7:10
"For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death."
The life of a man controlled by the sinful nature is one filled with many worldly griefs. This man has placed his ultimate source of worth and satisfaction in the things of this world and naturally those things have failed him. He has built his shelter on the sands of physical beauty, only to have it washed away by the ebbing waves of time. He has found refuge in the caves of earthly pleasure, but darkness conceals its foul contents. He has placed his trust in his finite possessions only to have them destroyed by moth and rust. Woe and grief fills the heart of the man who has tasted every pleasure under the sun and has climbed to the loftiest peaks of human wisdom, yet at the end of his life cries, "Meaningless!"
Wretched is the one who sees the goodness of God, vows to follow the Lord, and yet is filled with regret. A pillar of salt is all that remains of the one who flees from the wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah yet turns to look back at the life left behind. This man attempts to walk between this world and the next, fooling himself into thinking he can get the best of both. But alas, the regrets of the life left behind taints his every drink of the sweet living water; his guilty conscience haunts him as he tries to fully partake inthe world. He does not know what he truly wants and is a slave to the torn desires that wages war in his soul.
But blessed is he who has not only seen but has tasted that the Lord is good. The Spirit has shone forth so much revealing light and truth into his heart that he despairs at the wretchedness of his sinful condition. God has produced a godly grief, a holy frustration, a righteous dissatisfaction with the sin that has entangled every aspect of his life. Looking inward, this man woefully cries out in godly grief, "Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" and looking upward to the cross shouts forth glorious praise, "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!" His eyes have seen the King, he has glimpsed the Lord's glory, and there is no turning back. His repentance is a complete turn away from this world, and counts all things as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus. He has found the pearl of great price. He has uncovered the hidden treasure in the field and has left all behind to keep it. This blessed man has a salvation without regret. He forgets what lies behind and strains forward to what lies ahead.
Let us be this man who realizes he is not who he wants to be nor what he was made to be, understands that he could never do enough to attain righteousness alone, and throws himself at the utter mercy of God to be molded and shaped into the likeness of the Lord Jesus Christ. Let us seek daily after the unsearchable riches of Christ, never regretting having left behind our old lives to follow the King of Kings.
To live is Christ, and to die is gain.
"For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death."
The life of a man controlled by the sinful nature is one filled with many worldly griefs. This man has placed his ultimate source of worth and satisfaction in the things of this world and naturally those things have failed him. He has built his shelter on the sands of physical beauty, only to have it washed away by the ebbing waves of time. He has found refuge in the caves of earthly pleasure, but darkness conceals its foul contents. He has placed his trust in his finite possessions only to have them destroyed by moth and rust. Woe and grief fills the heart of the man who has tasted every pleasure under the sun and has climbed to the loftiest peaks of human wisdom, yet at the end of his life cries, "Meaningless!"
Wretched is the one who sees the goodness of God, vows to follow the Lord, and yet is filled with regret. A pillar of salt is all that remains of the one who flees from the wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah yet turns to look back at the life left behind. This man attempts to walk between this world and the next, fooling himself into thinking he can get the best of both. But alas, the regrets of the life left behind taints his every drink of the sweet living water; his guilty conscience haunts him as he tries to fully partake inthe world. He does not know what he truly wants and is a slave to the torn desires that wages war in his soul.
But blessed is he who has not only seen but has tasted that the Lord is good. The Spirit has shone forth so much revealing light and truth into his heart that he despairs at the wretchedness of his sinful condition. God has produced a godly grief, a holy frustration, a righteous dissatisfaction with the sin that has entangled every aspect of his life. Looking inward, this man woefully cries out in godly grief, "Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" and looking upward to the cross shouts forth glorious praise, "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!" His eyes have seen the King, he has glimpsed the Lord's glory, and there is no turning back. His repentance is a complete turn away from this world, and counts all things as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus. He has found the pearl of great price. He has uncovered the hidden treasure in the field and has left all behind to keep it. This blessed man has a salvation without regret. He forgets what lies behind and strains forward to what lies ahead.
Let us be this man who realizes he is not who he wants to be nor what he was made to be, understands that he could never do enough to attain righteousness alone, and throws himself at the utter mercy of God to be molded and shaped into the likeness of the Lord Jesus Christ. Let us seek daily after the unsearchable riches of Christ, never regretting having left behind our old lives to follow the King of Kings.
To live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
(Spiritual) Poverty will come upon you like a robber....
That man Joshua Harris is talking about is me. It's amazing how the sinful heart of man can take something good (like spiritually edifying or nourishing blogs) and find ways to replace God with it. Using my ESV Study Bible Online probably doesn't help because I'm always, always tempted and fall into temptation to check other things while I'm reading.
Proverbs 24:33-34
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
and want like an armed man.
Brothers and sisters, let us take heed from these words of wisdom, lest spiritual poverty come upon us. Let us refuse to give Satan a foothold in our lives, or compromise anything to sin. God help us in our apathy and complacency and lead us daily to the rock upon which we must desperately cling!
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